Saturday, May 6, 2006

WTF was I thinking!?

Days like today convince me that I've completely lost my mind.

My two oldest sons went off with their uncles for a day of fishing, Kassi had a birthday party to attend this evening - so we knew that for part of the day we'd be down to having 2 kids, rather than 5. We had some shopping to do and some errands to run, but we figured after we dropped Kassi off, we'd take the youngest kids to the carnival.


We left home at something like 11am, and we're just getting home. We hit Dollar General (cleaning supplies, potty paper, laundry detergent etc...) Food Lion (coffee was on major sale), K-Mart (All jewelry 50-70% off), and Wal-Mart (Kassi needed shoes.) So we managed to get the must-have household items, tennis shoes Kassi wouldn't hate, and a present she could be proud to give (plus gift bag/tissue paper, bow, and card) with a smidgeon of sanity left - and decided to free ourselves of it by going to lunch in a place that doesn't have a drive through. Silly silly Mommy!

Off then to drop Kassi at her friend's house. We'd never been to this friend's house before, and only after we were well on our way did we realize it was about 30 minutes out in bumfuck. We called to make sure we weren't lost or confused - that's how far out in the country it was - and I've lived in Union County for 2 decades or more.

Then, off to the carnival. Dear GOD, what was I thinking?! OK, this was not "The Fair" - it was one of those rinky dink traveling carnivals that sets up in the Mall parking lot - but since the Union County Fair doesn't exist anymore, we try to get the kids to the carnival when it comes to town.

It's always a let down, and we always swear we aren't going next time but by the time it comes back again, we seem to forget that.

So, do you buy tickets at a dollar a pop (each ride is 3-5 tickets) or an all-day armband. An armband of course, right? Yeah, two armbands at $20 a pop, drinks, a couple of games, a couple of funnel cakes... and I've suddenly spent a fortune, which is what I was trying to avoid when I decided to go with two kids instead of five. Damn it.

So, after 3 hours dashing from ride to ride, it was 7:15 and I was ready to get the hell out of Dodge. Oh, wait... we have to drive another 30 minutes out to get Kassi yet! And another 30 minutes back into town - and stop at the landlord's to pay the rent! And stop for Marshmallows so we can roast marshmallows (by request) and get ahold of my brother and brother-in-law to see if they're keeping the boys over night, or bringing them home, or waiting for us to pick them up! And unload the bags of shit from the car. And put it all away. And listen to a certain overly-excited 11 year old recount every detail of the birthday party. Then listen to her bitch that she missed the carnival. And all the while trying to calm the screaming over-stimulated 2 year old who wants to go "ride the merry-go-wheel againnnnnnn!"!

Next time I'm down to 2 kids, I'm going to stay home, do nothing, and enjoy the relative calm!

So yeah, I'm frazzled, but really it was worth it. The boys are spending the night with their uncle, Terra was pacified by the big wheel grandma bought her while we were out. Kassi has been invited by another friend to go to the carnival tomorrow, and I've guzzled a nice fresh cup of coffee while I typed. The cleaning closets and linen closets are restocked, Kassi's toes no longer poke through her shoes, the rent is paid, and it's late enough to start tucking the kids in and call it a day.

Oh, and when I went to pay the rent, I had the added pleasure of seeing him, for the 3rd time, in his underwear. Nothing like seeing a 90 year old man in his white cotton old-man-boxers to top off the night!

I'd have probably been OK today, if Kassi's friend had lived somewhere else. Getting her there and picking her up entailed passing the cemetery 4 times. I was having a good day until then... not dwelling on it, you know? Then, all of a sudden, BAM! and my mindset deteriorated from there.In all truth, the day was probably much less chaotic than most days - even days when we don't do a million things - with all 5 of the kids. It makes me feel bad for my family that it takes so little to fry my nerves. I try not to let them see that I'm frustrated when I know it's unfounded, but I'm not naive enough to think that they don't sense it.

Today was supposed to be an attempt to sort of make up for how stressfull things have been lately, and I pretty much blew it.


  1. Krisstanamus12:41 AM

    You DID NOT blow it!
    I mean, Sheesh Erin, Most people would'nt even be able to handle the challenge of having 5 children, Let alone the challenges of grief, Finances and all that you and your family have been going through. You ARE an amazing woman. What I wouldnt give to have the amount of patience you do....Although I am sure it is by no means-an esay task. Although I know it is difficult,...You should definatly give yourself some credit.....I do.

  2. Oh, my I remember those days of not so quiet "quiet" time. It seems that everytime we try to relax something throws it out of whack, but I believe you managed very nicely. You have to remember that mine are all teenagers now. Ugh...The attitude I run into can be amazing at times, but I take it with stride, hidden insanity and then it turns into just another nutty day in the Molina household. Oh, the joys of motherhood. I figure I've lasted this long, I can pretty much deal with anything now...I know you can, coz, well, you're amazing. :-)

  3. Mine and grown and gone. But even when they're grown and gone, they come back, with grandkids! Thank God.

  4. Yes I did. No I can't. And no, I don't.

  5. Ahh!! Sweetie-pie...I love ya and that's all I gotta say