Friday, May 26, 2006


Scott's uncle died three days ago. We just found out this morning. In one of my CHD support groups, another couple just lost a child. Scott hadn't seen his uncle since he was a little kid, and the CHD family are friends of a friend, so I have never spoken to either of them. And yet, in some abstract way, both losses feel personal. In actuality, I suppose it's just that news of those deaths just serve as reminders, but in any case, I'm in a slump today. I haven't worked at all on my CHD financial aid list. Dinner is already cooking, the bathroom is sparkling clean, I've done 4 loads of laundry, and dusted the livingroom.

I've also spent much time in this chair staring at a blank screen because today is one of those words-won't-suffice sorts of days, a day when there seems like a lot to say, and no way to articulate it. Even the least important things feel heavy with undue significance. My head hurts, and I don't know if it's my sinuses protesting the promise of thunderstorms (most likely) or the weight of this funk.

Three Days Grace and Staind are playing a free concert at Speed Week in Uptown Charlotte tonight. We're supposed to go. It doesn't matter to me whether we do or not to be honest. If I go, I probably won't enjoy it. If I don't go, I'll kick myself in the ass for missing it. For now though, I could care less.

Well, kids want me, dinner needs me and the laundry won't finish itself.


  1. hey...sounds like you had one of my days. I hate the overly weighted-with- emotion-and-not-a-way-to-release-it days. I had one the other day. It was really bad coz I made one of my friends feel as if they'd done something wrong to make me so...distant/sad/confused...ugh...and I'm still not quite out of the funk. Even calm doesn't seem, big time. Anyway, *hug* you aren't and will never be alone. I know I haven't said it lately, but love you!

  2. I hope you go and do find some iota of enjoyment. Sometimes that's all we need is a change of environment. A change from "normal."

    I need something like that myself. This 3-day weekend couldn't have come at a better time. Work has been really something lately...

  3. I won't spoil the silence with a lot of noise, just a big warm *hug*.

  4. <--peeking in with warm best regards, condolences and wishes of peace w/ hugs!

  5. Anonymous9:26 AM forgot the most important thing...Twisted Sister!!
    We're not gonna take it!