Sublime Denial
I have rested too long
in the pre-dawn shadows
dabbing at beads of knowledge
as they form on my brow
as if wiping them away
would make them cease to exist.
That denial is
the weakest form of self-defense
is something I've always known
yet I reject the sublime.
Rewrite:
Sublime Denial
Denial
is the weakest form of self-defense;
I've known it for years - and yet
I reject the sublime,
for I have rested too long
in the pre-dawn shadows
dabbing at beads of knowledge
as they form on my brow
as if wiping them away
would make them cease to exist.
Poetry
This one chills me, E. I've never had to face a reality as hard as the one that you're facing, but I know all about denial.
ReplyDeleteIf you're looking for crit on this piece, I don't like the word "That" starting off the second stanza. I just don't think it's necessary, and it's just sort of weak. Or maybe you inteneded weakness, since you're sort of showing us that helpless acceptance that comes with the inevitable.
But if you were to re-word it to something like "Denial being..." you'd cut out both "that" and "is".
Just my weasly crit. I'm really no good at it.
HUGS
actually a good point Ang. This was one of those 5 minute writes that hasn't been edited at all - it IS sort of awkward to start that sentence that way isn't it?
ReplyDelete