Wednesday, February 15, 2006

so soon all of a sudden

Tomorrow is Scotty's birthday.

At 10 am we meet with the cardiac surgeon so he can discuss what they'll be doing, and when. I keep trying to convince myself that tomorrow is the day we find out when he'll be saving our son's life. It just doesn't feel that way, and I'm fucking terrified. I'd rather die a fiery death than do this.

They prefer to do these major surgeries early in the week, so that during the first few days afterward, they'll actually be in the hospital, as opposed to being on call over a weekend - you know, just in case. So I'm betting that they'll want to do it on Monday, 2/20. Whenever they do it - there's a long row to hoe afterwards.


  1. Woah! 2/20 feels way too soon. Look, I know he's not my child, and whatever I'm feeling inside can't possibly compare to what you and your family are going through, but I ache for him, E. I can't imagine... But I'm also staying optimistic. Nova... how could anyone with such a strong name do anything other than survive?

  2. Well, 2/20 is just my guess - we'll find out for sure tomorrow. I just figure that they'll want to do it on a Monday, and pretty much right away now that he's hit the right weight and age.

    I'm still being academic about it - my mind knows it's time, my heart can't admit it yet. I just can't look at it yet. Tomorrow's appointment is going to be a hell of a thing Ang, I'm already crying in the bathroom about it all.

  3. Sending you all my strength and love, E...

  4. Thanks Erin, I need it. I honestly just don't think I can do this again.

  5. You can do this again and you will. He's otherwise healthy and strong. He have the best advantages he can have. And, he has a hell of a lot of people prayig for him. My best to you and yours.