Wednesday, June 21, 2006

For the 2nd 10th 100th 1000th time

I spent some time going through Nova's things tonight. His clothes and blankets and stuff. I'm keeping everything that was with him at the hospital, and a few outfits, and the rest is packed up. I guess I'll sell all of that and donate it. I got the crib partially disassembled when I hit overload and just quit.

You realize he spent nearly half of his life in the hospital? The first 2 weeks and the last 6. 58 days of the 125 he lived. He never even outgrew the size 0-3 sleepers. He never had a pair of shoes on his feet, they were too big. I have 2 bottles of baby powder that I never opened.

I'm already forgetting what he looked like and I can't remember the sound of his cry. I'm losing him all over again.


  1. Oh ERIN!

    ((((HUGS ERIN)))

  2. Bless your heart.

    Tear, hug, and love, Lori

  3. I'm writing this through tears. You're in my thoughts and prayers today, as always.
    Much love,

  4. Hugs, hugs, hugs, Erin. Wish I had more to offer than tears & a drippy nose & hugs.

  5. E, I wish my arms could reach that far.

  6. Oh, Erin. So hard what you're going through, but thank you for writing the emotions down. It's so raw and real, and a strong reminder for me to never take a moment forgranted with our kids.
    God bless sweet little Nova. I know you remember his cry. You just had a moment of hot grief to work through while putting away his things.
    So sorry for your pain, Erin. I really am.