Saturday, January 14, 2006

fuck an A

For the record, I'm not allowed to do anything except be the mom, the one everyone expects to answer the questions, fill the needs, kiss the boo boos, solve the problems. I mean, shit. I know I'm the mom, but I'm not JUST a mom... when do I get to do any of the things I want or need to do? When do I get to be the other people that I am? You know, the writer, the poet, the woman...

Apparently, in 18 years or so. Until then, Mom is all I'm allowed to be.


  1. Don't Give Up!
    Don't EVER Give UP!!!

    Carve out the time. Find a way.

    You can not feed the people you love if you do not tend your own garden.

    Insist that they support you, and respect your need for personal space.

    They will quickly see that when your cup is full, you have so much more to give, and jthey will love you all the more for your strength.

  2. Erin, God can I understand this! It's not until now that J is able to entertain himself for a few minutes at a time that I can do anything BUT be the mom. And I only have one child.

    Not sure if you're frustrated here by the kids, the hubby not pitching in enough, or just the situation in general, but I totally understand and relate. Hell, if I get a decent shower twice a week, I've really accomplished something.

    Talk to Scott, let him know that you need some "you" time. If that means actually scheduling an hour in the evenings that he is in charge while you go lock yourself away in the bedroom or something, then do it.

    You need and deserve your own time and space just as much as everyone else. Your older kids are old enough to understand that, and the younger ones can be someone else's responsibility for a while.

    Or is it more a matter of you not allowing yourself to take any time away?

    My inbox is open if you want to rant. :)

  3. it sounds like you need a break...even if for a few minutes, hours, whatever you can steal alone. It always makes you come back in a much better mood. Good luck getting it!

  4. LOL, I try to blame this on others, but the truh is, I haven't yet taught myself that it's ok to be selfish sometimes.

    I'm too worried about being 'responsible' or whatever to actually do 'for myself.'

    What do they call that? A "type-A" personality? Damn it what I wouldn't do to trade it in for a type-x (or xxx even)