I have been lied to. I've known it for a couple of days. But in the first 2 days after my chap was released I had 9 people tell me they ordered one, but there were actually only 4 orders. I don't know why someone would say they did if they didn't - I mean, why not just shut up and say nothing? Anyway, I've decided as much as I want to sell this thing, and I DO want to sell the hound out of this thing, I'm just going to do my own thing and sell them myself, through other venues than this and not worry about who does or doesn't order one through here.
I'll find out once every three months anyway, so wondering isn't a necessary thing.
So, note to self:
stop obsessing, what should happen, will.
I think I've been stressing out about this more than I like to admit. I mean my rational mind can say that if I don't sell a fucking one, it doesn't actually HURT me, you know, I haven't spent a penny. Any that I do sell, even if it's just that 4 I knew about on Day 3, well, that's a few bucks I didn't have before.
I just want so badly to succeed! Part of me knows that if nothing else, I'll be disappointed in myself if this fails miserably. As much a positive response as I've had to actually getting a chapbook published... I don't want to lose that momentum in the negative response to failure.
And here I am, predicting my own failure, or at least mentally preparing for it, less than a week into this process. *sigh*
I swear I'm an optimist - just not when in relation to myself!