Monday, May 23, 2005

Confidence and Peace of Mind

You know, I've been writing for years. Most of us have, especially if we include our teenage angst ridden years plagued by cathartic rubbish. And I know that I can look back, even as recently as a few months ago, and see that my writing style has changed, that my voice has changed. I feel a bit like I'm going through some poetic form of puberty - my voice is deepening, beginning to feel more valid, stronger and more confident.

I figure this is true for all writers. That we all go through periods of growth that are inspired by one thing or another. Like Finch - did she always write like that?(Huh huh Jen didja!?) And that's the cool thing about the growth - it doesn't just change how you write, but it has changed, for me, how I read, what I can read and feel comfortable saying, hey, I 'get' this.

Finchy, if I haven't told you lately, your poetry rips my guts out - and I mean that absolutely in the best way. I've read your blog SO much lately and just been left speachless, and feeling like you've danced around the maypole, braiding my entrails.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, 101 cool things about poetic growth...

I can write something with depth and meaning, and feel comfortable enough in it that I can defend it, better yet, to no longer feel the NEED to defend it, in so much less time. I have written 2 lately, both posted here, that took me no more than 20 minutes on the first draft, which is pretty close to the "final" draft.

The depth comes more easily now, I remember spending days upon days with certain pieces, that at the time felt so deep, and looking back, they're shallow and poorly crafted - and I think, God, what a waste of a week! Which isn't quite true, because the struggle through the older pieces is definitely partially responsible for where I am now.

So what's my point here? I don't know really, just that I'm so happy with where I find myself creatively lately. I'm in a good, productive place. And it feels so good!


  1. Erin, I can definitely see a strenghtening in your voice lately. But I think it's always been there, you've just been too... hmm, what's the word... not exactly shy, but somewhere in that ballpark, to let it show. I think publishing your chap has definitely helped to bring that voice through, and I'm incredibly happy for you.

    I haven't written anything, good or bad, since I became pregnant. Wow, 18 months without writing. I feel like if I started over now I'd be back to that garbage I started with, and honestly, I don't know if I have the time, or the determination to sludge through all of that again.

    I'll just live vicariously through you, ok?

  2. Shy? Not in years, but I was admittedly very unsure of my voice, uncomfortable in my own skin maybe. As for coming back in the garbage, I didn't write a word from the day I got pregnant with Terra until I came back to MTC when she was 16 months old. And you know what? I think I grew in that time period, and it made me better. No need to beat yourself up over not writing, but don't start second guessing your abilities.

    As for living vicariously through me, happy to be of service ma'am! And thank you for seeing that my voice has changed. I think the chapbook though is as much a by-product as a factor ;)

    Regardless of chronology though, I'm hapy happy where I am today.


  3. It's good that you don't feel the need to defend your work-- getting there can be tough for most, a nightmare for a few. My work is play and stands or falls on its own... I'll not defend it except to say it's a reflection of me... except when it's not.

    PS. Thanks for the link as well as the comments.

  4. Have tagged you with a movie meme over on sheweevil - follow the format and find five unlucky souls to torment. Just noticed my poetic acceptance link got lost in the "wash" will put it back.

    Fiona xx

  5. Haha that's hysterical, I was laying in bed last night thinking that these meme things were like the new email forward that I needed to post a disclaimer so I didn't get tagged. You're an evil woman Fiona! I'll be right over to your place to see what I'm doing!