Tuesday, April 25, 2006

waxing philosophical - or losing my mind

There has been so much death this spring. There are so many just in the circle of blogs I surf, that I've got to use 2 hands to count them all.

Maybe God, or Nature or whatever, believes that the buds and blooms and colors and sunshine will assuage the pain - paint it over, like white-washing a dirty fence.

It isn't really working for me, dunno about the rest of you. But it has managed continually remind me to remember what's important, to appreciate every minute of every day, to make the most of life, whatever your situation may be. I want to learn to embrace things in a way I've never managed to before - at the risk of sounding horribly cliche, I want to live life to the fullest.

I am, in some ways, trying to re-order my priorities. I go outside and play with the kids more, get angry less, and understand that every opportunity I pass up may have been something unexpected and wonderful - even if it was something I was dreading (like talking to the new neighbor-lady yesterday - she's an odd bird, and I have been avoiding even looking in that direction, but seeing the smile on her face when I walked up to her and started just chit-chatting, well, I was glad I decided to go over.) I'm feeling more philosophical, like every damn thing is significant. I find myself wishing my life were video taped 24/7 lest I miss some sweet amazing thing one of the kids might say or do.

I want to hug everyone and let them know they count, that in the unknown scheme of life, they are important. I feel oddly connected - to people I once didn't connect with at all, and even to people I don't know. There is something bigger, something greater - and I'm a part of it.

If only I could understand how, or why...

4 comments:

  1. .
    We work like a horse.
    We eat like a pig.
    We like to play chicken.
    You can get someone's goat.
    We can be as slippery as a snake.
    We get dog tired.
    We can be as quiet as a mouse.
    We can be as quick as a cat.
    Some of us are as strong as an ox.
    People try to buffalo others.
    Some are as ugly as a toad.
    We can be as gentle as a lamb.
    Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
    Some of us drink like a fish.
    We can be as proud as a peacock.
    A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
    You can get a frog in your throat.
    We can be a lone wolf.
    But I'm having a whale of a time!

    You have a riveting web log
    and undoubtedly must have
    atypical & quiescent potential
    for your intended readership.
    May I suggest that you do
    everything in your power to
    honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
    Designer/Architect as well
    as your revering audience.
    As soon as we acknowledge
    this Supreme Designer/Architect,
    Who has erected the beauteous
    fabric of the universe, our minds
    must necessarily be ravished with
    wonder at this infinate goodness,
    wisdom and power.

    Please remember to never
    restrict anyone's opportunities
    for ascertaining uninterrupted
    existence for their quintessence.

    There is a time for everything,
    a season for every activity
    under heaven. A time to be
    born and a time to die. A
    time to plant and a time to
    harvest. A time to kill and
    a time to heal. A time to
    tear down and a time to
    rebuild. A time to cry and
    a time to laugh. A time to
    grieve and a time to dance.
    A time to scatter stones
    and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a
    time to turn away. A time to
    search and a time to lose.
    A time to keep and a time to
    throw away. A time to tear
    and a time to mend. A time
    to be quiet and a time to
    speak up. A time to love
    and a time to hate. A time
    for war and a time for peace.

    Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
    Dr. Whoami


    P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
    that the common culture of my youth
    is gone for good. It was hollowed out
    by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
    then splintered beyond hope of repair
    by the emergence of the web-based
    technologies that so maximized and
    facilitated cultural choice as to make
    the broad-based offerings of the old
    mass media look bland and unchallenging
    by comparison."

    ReplyDelete
  2. We had another loss on Easter this year. Bill's sister's dog passed away after surviving two years with cancer throughout his entire body. Many of us saw him the previous day. We pretty much got to say goodbye since we knew he wouldn't be with us long. We never expected him to die the next afternoon.

    btw, mom's fine

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  3. This kind of openess is true spirituality. It is called "tathata" in Sanskrit. It means suchness or thatness. Below is a translation of a very early tibetan text. I think it relates to your comments.

    The nature of multiplicity is nondual
    and things in themselves are pure and simple;
    being here and now is thought-free
    and it shines out in all forms, always all good;
    it is already perfect, so the striving sickness is avoided
    and spontaneity is constantly present.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, my dear...I think we have accidentally found the meaning of life. *hug* I understand completely what you say and why you are doing it. It's amazing, isn't it? So much beauty in the face of sorrow...yes, another cliche', but who cares. We are all wonderful creatures that are trying to make the world better than before me came. Love you, E.

    ReplyDelete