There has been so much death this spring. There are so many just in the circle of blogs I surf, that I've got to use 2 hands to count them all.
Maybe God, or Nature or whatever, believes that the buds and blooms and colors and sunshine will assuage the pain - paint it over, like white-washing a dirty fence.
It isn't really working for me, dunno about the rest of you. But it has managed continually remind me to remember what's important, to appreciate every minute of every day, to make the most of life, whatever your situation may be. I want to learn to embrace things in a way I've never managed to before - at the risk of sounding horribly cliche, I want to live life to the fullest.
I am, in some ways, trying to re-order my priorities. I go outside and play with the kids more, get angry less, and understand that every opportunity I pass up may have been something unexpected and wonderful - even if it was something I was dreading (like talking to the new neighbor-lady yesterday - she's an odd bird, and I have been avoiding even looking in that direction, but seeing the smile on her face when I walked up to her and started just chit-chatting, well, I was glad I decided to go over.) I'm feeling more philosophical, like every damn thing is significant. I find myself wishing my life were video taped 24/7 lest I miss some sweet amazing thing one of the kids might say or do.
I want to hug everyone and let them know they count, that in the unknown scheme of life, they are important. I feel oddly connected - to people I once didn't connect with at all, and even to people I don't know. There is something bigger, something greater - and I'm a part of it.
If only I could understand how, or why...