Sunday, April 9, 2006

a moment of

realizations

the last three days have not begun with my usual habit of silently reciting my children's names...

Terra doesn't realize that Nova is gone...
    I haven't the slightest idea how to explain it to her...
that no matter what I say or how I try to rationalize, none of this makes any sense.

once the funeral is over, there is nothing to keep me busy or keep me sane...
    I am not this strong.
he was really and truly my last child...
    and I will never bury my face in his fat little neck and smell him again.

4 comments:

  1. If there's one thing you can always count on about the human race, like it or not, we go on. You too will go on and find your joy again. He will never be replaced, but you will find him alive in in the beauty of every day you wake. Love you, EM.

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  2. oh, babe....hold tight that memory because it's as precious as that little boy. ^that Erin^ she's one smart cookie. Believe it hon. I do and I believe in you.

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  3. I'll say them for you until you're ready to do it again.

    *hugs*

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  4. Prayers ascending for you, Nova and all the rest of your family.

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