speechless

I have another blog, one no one ever visits. Well, not no one exactly. It averages 6 hits a day... Today, there have been 4 visits. It's lossofachild.blogspot.com and it's part of what I called the Poetic Acceptance for grieving parents network, the sister site to poetic acceptance.com, which I started as a tribute after I lost Alexis. It never went anywhere, never accomplished anything. The forums at poetic acceptance got shut down because the only posting going on was gambling and/or porn bot spam. The store does no business, the blog gets no hits. It has been a miserable failure.

When Nova was born, I had decided to shut it down and got talked out of it. You know, "You've been given bad news, you're stressed out and emotionally overloaded - just leave it there, come back to it later..." I agreed at the time. Seemed like perfect advice. I figured I'd just start pumping some life into it after we got Nova fixed up.

Yes well. Plans change eh?

Truth is, I don't see the point in paying the hosting fees every month for a site that gets no visits, and I can't seem to find the motivation to post on the blog anymore either. There was one wonderful article added by a guest poster, but mostly, I've done a lot of copy/paste/link type posts that haven't required a lot of input or thought.

The one good thing that's come from the blog there though... a blog I've found called everything is under control. I see her URL in my stats a lot (well, a lot is relative, maybe it's a bad choice of words when used in reference to a site who sees single digit traffic) The author there has lost 2 children too. Her circumstances are different than mine, but does it matter how you lose children? The pain and grief and general emotional turmoil is basically the same.

Her style reminds me a bit of my own. Good days, bad days, sad posts, silly posts, trying to find balance through honest reflections about her days and her experiences, no matter what kind of day she's having.

Go read her. She's wonderful. She leaves me speechless more often than not.