I finally drifted into sleep about 5:3 am, knowing I had somewhere to be at 9. I woke at 7:30 this morning, what would be Alexis' 4th birthday - and began the day with a screaming fight that ended abruptly, badly, and with no real resolution. I suppose we're both a little emotional today.
No one else wants to talk about her.
They all want to pretend I didn't have a child 4 years ago today. Her name is some strangely taboo subject, treated as though the sky will fall if it's spoken out loud. I'll end up commemorating this day alone and in silence.
There are things I should be doing.
I'd just rather not.
Erin,
ReplyDeleteHer name should be spoken, and loudly. Don't feel like you have to get through it all alone. If nothing else, know that there are those of us out there who will commemorate this day with you... whatever that's worth.
Since no words can possibly do you any good, know that I am sending you love, and lots of support.
I sure picked a day to chew on ya ear in email, didn't I? I'm sorry, Erin, but I still love ya. I'm with Angie. And with you all! HUGS!
ReplyDeleteE~
ReplyDeleteGiven half a chance, I would spend this day with you and we would yell her name to the skies. I'm thinking of you, please know that.
Hey, Erin, speak it to the stars
ReplyDeletesadly,
ginger
I have been sitting here typing and deleting, typing and deleting because everything I say sounds small and insignificant. I just want you to know (for lack of prettier words) that I am silently supporting you and thinking of you much.
ReplyDeletethanks all
ReplyDeleteErin ~ I'm sending the most beautiful thoughts I can think of to help you get through this time...and to remember that Alexis came into your life for a very special reason which may not be known yet and no matter how few days she was here...she is forever a part of your life.
ReplyDeletep.s. - Sometimes things that are beautiful can make us cry just as hard as things that are sad
Take care, Erin.
And sometimes those things are the same...
ReplyDeleteWell said Ginger, really.
ReplyDelete