I finally drifted into sleep about 5:3 am, knowing I had somewhere to be at 9. I woke at 7:30 this morning, what would be Alexis' 4th birthday - and began the day with a screaming fight that ended abruptly, badly, and with no real resolution. I suppose we're both a little emotional today.
No one else wants to talk about her.
They all want to pretend I didn't have a child 4 years ago today. Her name is some strangely taboo subject, treated as though the sky will fall if it's spoken out loud. I'll end up commemorating this day alone and in silence.
There are things I should be doing.
I'd just rather not.