Thursday, November 10, 2005


With Alexis we didn't know anything until she was 36 hours old. There was no pre-cognition, no agonizing wait. We were blissfully ignorant for the entire 9 months. It was better, easier at least. Knowing doesn't help anything, there's nothing to be done until after he's born anyway.

Now I'm just stuck here in this partial knowing, waiting. I'm just trying to grasp it, accept it, but that's hard to do without knowing exactly what I'm supposed to accept. I'm trying not to obsess, trying to stay positive, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job.

1 comment:

  1. Erin, you can't possibly be expected to remain calm and objective when it's your child's life at stake.

    I can imagine that not knowing is so much easier than knowing and not being able to do a damn thing about it.

    A friend I used to work with had a daughter who was born with multiple rare heart defects. She actually was featured on a show on Discovery because she was the first baby who had this condition that was found before she was born. Today she's a very healthy 4 year old. Sure, she faces some tough surgeries ahead, but it's amazing what they can do these days. And maybe knowing will help prepare the doctors for the surgeries that lie ahead.