Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Better pack my bag

Fourteen days till December 7th.

That's the official date, the day Donovan will be born. I go in at 8am for an amniocentesis to ensure that his lungs are fully matured, then off we go to delivery, with the blessed addition of an epidural. My seventh labor and delivery, my first epidural. For the record, that huge amnio needle scares the hell out of me, but I figure there's enough to be frightened about right now, so fuck it, skewer me, I don't care, just give Nova the best chance he can get.

I really like my new doctor. She's very sweet, very professional, and has some sort of magic when it comes to bedside manner. She had no miracles to offer me, told me I'd be delivering 2 days earlier than I thought, because they want several days of the cardiac specialists being in the hospital in case Donovan is in really bad shape and needs the surgery immediately, or needs some special hands-on care from them (apparently, they take weekends off) then she added the joyous news of the amniocentesis, and yet, somehow, she made me feel at ease, comfortable even. I figure that was pretty damn good considering that I was fighting tears the whole way there. It's weird, I can keep it all in check at home, but something about going to/being in a doctor's office sets me off. I cried for 3 hours straight at my last appointment.

I pity the doctors, and Scott too, especially Scott, for all that I'll put them through on December 7th. I already warned Scott that I'm going to be a mess, I just hope that I'll be able to support him half as much as I know he'll support me that day. He isn't exactly the emotionally demonstrative type normally, but he's good under pressure, bless his heart. Out of compassion, I won't ask him to be there for the amnio though, he's not real good with needles


  1. i love you erin

    that fuck ing needle scares me too

    take it easy sweetie
    i'm sending you all my love & good things

    you will get thru this /

    ~jennx *giant est hug*

  2. E, ugh, amnio. I know that it seems so tame compared to all the other things you're going to be going through, but still... I think that was my biggest fear, having to have amnio done. One of the doctors I worked with said that she had it done and it was really nothing. I hope it turns out to be the truth for you.

    I know it's got to be scary to actually have a date now. A true moment to pinpoint as "the time". I sincerely hope that all of this turns out well for you and your little one, and the rest of your family. I'll offer no platatudes because I know they're useless.

    Love you,

  3. I wrote for you at contraptions if and when you feel up to it.

  4. Anonymous4:17 AM

    everyone loves you

  5. Jenn, I love you too dear, and you're right... I'll get through this, but damn all this dreading stuff sucks! *smooch*

    Ang, I don't know what to expect, I've never known anyone who had an amnio done, but it just seems like it's got to hurt, the needle is so damned big! I'm not normally bothered by needles, take blood all day long, give me 100 shota, IV's are no bigggie - but damn that needle is huge!

    V, I'll go see as soon as I catch up with everything I've neglected the last two days.

    Anonymous, You're right, I'm blessed in the way of friendship. I feel very lucky to have so many people care so much.

  6. My thoughts are with you. I feel so helpless at this moment. But you, you are so strong. If there is a God, he will be there, kissing your forehead.

  7. I'm truly sorry if I said anything too stupid. It was not my intent.

  8. No James, you didn't say anything stupid. Not at all. I appreciate your thoughts, very much. *hug*

  9. You are continually in my thoughts and prayers.