I think that dishonesty and outright lying are different, yet the same - two levels of the same act I suppose. I classify it the same way my mother used to teach me that sin was classified: There is the sin (or lie) of omission, and the sin (or lie) of commission.
I guess the lie of omission is probably less heavy on the liar's conscience, easier to get away with or make excuses for. But as far as I'm concerned they have the same affect - they each destroy trust in a relationship, ANY relationship, be it romantic, friendly, or business.
So what am I rambling about? Well, I have a question. I am currently involved in a situation where a friendship of sorts (more of a close-ish aquaintanceship really) has become a business relationship. Before the business situation came up, I never had a problem trusting this person, because they were never dishonest with me. However, I heard all along many stories in which others said that this person had been dishonest with them, and was, quite frankly, warned about being her friend. She and I lost touch for a good while, then "met" again, in a business situation, which I entered into with caution, but not really with any mistrust - and was met with many many repeated warnings about doing so.
Since I entered into this business relationship, I have had the opportunity to question my decision, on several occasions. You know how it is when someone promises you something, but doesn't come through, and you hear the excuses and reasons, but never get what was promised. Of course, there's no way for me to verify the validity of the claims, and so I've had little choice but to accept, and wait. But eventually, I got impatient and more assertive, but the more forceful I became, the more resistance I encountered - the passive aggressive behaviors such as unanswered emails, which as far as I'm concerned, when in a business situation, there is simply no excuse for.
So, in an effort to get what I was owed, I bent over backwards to overcome all of the obstacles for this person. Every hurdle they presented, I jumped for them, and was met with yet more excuses. When I came to the point of having become an unavoidable nuisance who could no longer be ignored, I got - take a guess - yup, more excuses. Only now, the excuse given leaves me in a position of being unable to argue or question without taking the chance of being an absolute ogre. The problem being, I think the excuse is an outright lie - bold-faced and really horrible.
You see, there have been enough lies of omission and questionable excuses, that I can no longer trust this person's word, even though the latest reason that this person has not lived up to her end of a business agreement is highly emotional, and evocative. If it's true I am genuinely sympathetic and completely understand the lack of action on her part, unfortunately, I don't believe her. Plus my lack of faith lends me, even further, to have less respect because of the suspicion that she would possibly stoop to the level of this lie. I mean seriously, if it's a lie, it's damn low - if it's the truth, and I question her, then I'm damn low.
So what do I do? I've been waiting for 4 months for this situation to be rectified, but is this the point at which I bite the bullet for my own sake, or throw a hissy?