Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I do NOT normally have violent tendencies, however...

A week (not even) in review:

Halloween: One 19yr old who invited people to my house without asking or informing me, one 14 yr old who really believed that dressing vaguely like a Playboy Bunny and running the streets with 2 boys was an option, an 11 yr old and a 5 yr old who are still totally in the Halloween stage, but who tire quickly, are prone to complaining, and who have exceptionally small bladders.

Trick or treating went fairly smoothly, the rest, not so much.

Nov 1st: Several teens hanging out in my yard, carving jack-o-lanterns, with my permission. Several teens smashing said pumpkins, the coming in and watching Spongebob - only to be interupted by the police at my door because my neighbors are assholes who feel that all kids are bad kids, even when they're just being kids, having some fun, and NOT doing anything to anyone or their property.

Nov 2nd: Trying to be a kind person to one of my other neighbors... there was a wreck in which a car ran into their house. We took pics with my camera in case they needed them for the lawyers and insurance companies. They asked a few days ago if we still had them because they did in fact need them for the lawyers. I uploaded them to Walmart and ordered prints and sent my daughter (who has been there many times and is very familiar with them) over to give them the info about picking them up. The man of the house, in the absence of his wife, asked my 14 yr old daughter when she was going to "sneak out her window and visit him so he could tap that." She freaked out and ran home to tell us. Needless to say, there was much ugliness that ensued. Unfortunately, there's no law to cover him asking the question, and since he didn't touch her (thank god) there wasn't a lot we could do legally.

Nov 3rd: Adult daughter of nextdoor (nosey-ass kid-hating) neighbors gets a flat tire, assumes that my kids or their friends flattened it, and calls police. (note: her father just spent a month shingling the roof, and has stated plainly that his yard is full of roofing nails) then proceeded to come to my house and accuse my kids and their friends of flattening her tire. She also felt that somehow threatening me with how crazy her father is (and he really is) would intimidate me or something. I very nearly punched her in the face. I don't say that to brag or impress anyone, I say it because it was more work to stop myself than I like to admit. However, I am not afraid of her father. He's laughable. I told her, not very politely, to get her ass out of my fucking yard and stay out. Oh, and welcome back to the neighborhood, since she, just 3 days ago, moved back in with her parents.

Nov 4th: Her (seriously mentally imbalanced, no joke, no sarcasm) father waltzes his ass into my yard and rings my doorbell, again to raise hell about my kids and their friends, because they're the hoodlems who flattened his daughter's tire. Again, I not-so-politely threw him (chased, actually) out of my yard and told him not to bring his crazy alcoholic ass across that property line again - to never speak to anyone in my family again, and to stay the fuck away from my dogs too. He tried to give me 'the look' and scare me, and told me I better not ever come into his yard either. No problem, I've never been in his yard.

And the look still didn't scare me. However, the depth and breadth of my anger does frighten me. I really did chase him out of my yard, screaming. But inside my head, I was tackling him, throwing him to the ground, and kicking him in the face. Have I mentioned that I'm really NOT a violent person? I was just so angry, angry that he and his daughter had the audacity to try to intimidate me and my kids based on some weird "I've lived in this neighborhood longer than you have" basis. I don't give a god damn if your great grampa built that house out of twigs and horse shit during the Civil-fucking-War you bastard, you aren't any better than we are, and my kids are allowed to have friends over without being accused of flattening your tire and being harrassed!

She (this guy's daughter) actually said to me (and she's been back in the neighborhood for THREE FUCKING DAYS) "there never used to be any trouble before, and I'm not putting up with a bunch of kids and their bullshit!"

Have I mentioned that before we moved in, this house was the neighborhood crack/meth house, complete with constant police visits, fights, arrests, etc...? Yeah, never trouble here before...

And that's not even everything. I'm stressed out till I'm nauseaus and shaking inside. I can't take any more. I'm actually concerned that the next time my BRAIN goes through the motions of pummeling someone, my body is going to become an active participant.

We are fairly certain that come February, when the terms of our lease have been fulfilled, we will be moving. Hopefully to a place with no neighbors.

In better news, I have spent much of my morning learning to build a power point presentation, and creating one about Operation Teddy Bear Care, for one of our members to use in order to pitch our project to her church in hopes that they'll support us. WHAT.FUN! I think I have a new addiction. Perhaps I'll go make one surrounding the insanity of my neighbors.


  1. Oh Erin, I know I probably shouldn't be but I'm laughing at this. I'm sorry. The way you put it and the cuss words are just so funny.

    You tell 'em girl!!! Don't take any shit.

    And I'll come over there and kick some butt if you want me to.

  2. It's probably not funny when you're in the middle of it, but I really think a power point presentation of it would be fucking hilarious!

    Also, I've been where you're at, and a little buffer between homes goes a long way toward keepin' the peace with the nabes when teens are just bein' teens.

    People are just so .... UPTIGHT AND TERRITORIAL!

  3. Neighbors in general suck, but yours seem to take the cake! Jeez, am I glad they have you for a neighbor, and not me. :)