Tuesday, June 14, 2005

The Plagues: 1 and 2

My cats are so out of here.And don't even try to tell me how the damn thing was just an offering of love, ok!? The day I wake up, and stumble bleary eyed to the coffee pot and step on some sort of dead innard is the day they go. Gone. Finito, outta here. Ciao! I don't even know which sort of innard it was, but the guts of small animals do not, under any circumstances, belong in my kitchen, and particularly not under my foot, all grey and striated and squishy and cold.

So, I have one male siamese kitten (not full blooded, long haired very sweet) 8 weeks old, one black and grey female, 8 weeks old - one orange male (1yr), one black female (2yrs) if anyone wants one!

And then there were the ants. Nothing like your counter top becoming a writhing black mass of biting wonder. Yes, I couldn't be lucky enough to be invaded by sugar ants. No, I was blessed with thousands of fire ants, attacking my sink area.

I should move. Where are there NOT fire ants? Up north, right? How about California, there aren't fire ants in Cali are there?

Nothin' could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morrrrrrrnin'.


  1. OK, E, I won't tell you that the innards are love offerings. I have, however, heard another theory which is not as flattering, but maybe you'll like it better. The theory says that cats leave you dead things as food because they think you're too stupid to take care of yourself. :-P Anyway, I too have stepped on an offering, only I was barefoot and it still had bones...CRUNCH!!! I had gotten up in the middle of the night to pee and THAT is a rude awakening, lemme tell ya! Yay for kitties! Lol.

  2. I was barefoot too. And it was disgusting - and they've never tried to feed me before either. . . I'll never know which one did it, my guess would be Spooky, the mama cat, trying to teach the babies how to hunt and such. All I know for sure is that my stomach is not up to such a clean-up job lately.

  3. Anonymous11:31 AM

    The only action my cat got all those years in Miami was the odd lizard that made its way inside. Guranteed to at least lose its tail. Those ants, Erin, are a continuing problem around these parts too. I hate to get bitten because the thing festers up and itches for days. Need any mosquitoes up your way? : )


  4. lol Millard! Please no more critters! between pets, kids, and not-so-welcome visitors, I think Spring has overwhelmed me as it is! Want a kitten? And in a few weeks, you can have a puppy or 6 too!

  5. Ok, I don't think we have fore ants in Chicago, E. I think those things bite, don't they? Be careful, hon. :-)

  6. *fire (how do you correct a post? hehehe

  7. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww


  8. Actually I tend to go with E2's version -- cats really do think you're too stupid to take care of yourself... :) But guts in the morning are no good, however, I thought ya'll down that way were into the the guts of small animals in the kitchen... squirrels, 'possum, chimpmunk stew and whatnot?

    *ducks to avoid being hit*

    we don't get fire ants here, you can come visit, however we could send you our cat collette who is very good at killing bugs.

  9. Hey! *chucks some o'possum guts at L!*

    Unless you're very angry with Collette, you don't want to send her to me to be attacked by swarms of biting fire ants!

  10. Eeeww! That's disgusting! And precisely the reason my cats don't know what the outside world looks like. The only things they get to kill are the plastic mice brought home from the store, and the occasional unfortunate bug that wanders in.

    I have, however, had the pleasure of slipping on a cold and slimey hairball in the middle of the night. Ugh. Not quite guts, but bad enough.