One thing about living in North Carolina, or any other coastal state I suppose, is that the close proximity of the ocean makes the beach a favorite vacation spot. A few hours in the car and poof, you're soaking up the sun with just the right amount of sand between your toes. Salt air in your hair and the scent of coconut suntan lotion heavy in the air...
Being the complete beach addict that I am, it kills me every time I hear of yet another of my neighbors or friends that has packed up the raft and a beach towel and run off to Myrtle Beach, or Carolina Beach, or Calabash, or whichever patch of sand is their particular choice. That's true basically because I'm broke, and my husband never gets a weekend off for us to head out for a few days.
So here's what I've decided to do. I'm running away from home, donning an eye patch and becoming a pirate. I figure they don't have any shortage of money, I mean, they have gold coins by the chestfull, and rum to boot - and hey, who doesn't want a nifty parrot on their shoulder spouting nasty words, right? If I do that, I'll get all the sand and sun I can handle, coconuts by the boatload, and a completely carefree lifestyle. Doesn't sound like a bad idea does it?
OK, so I'm taking volunteers for my crew... Anyone?
Given the fact that I live close enough to the beach to just about walk, I'll have to pass on the pirate thing. Tell ya what? I'll trade with you. Everyone down here needs a landscape business year round, so Scotty will have plenty of work, and you and your kids can go park it on the beach all day long.
ReplyDeleteMe, not a fan of the beach. Sand in the car, salt in the air makes everything corrode, I burn if I even think about sun, and crowds of greased up strangers, forget it. But I do enjoy a night time stroll along the boardwalk once the tourists have all gone back to their hotels
I think I'll stay up here (I am not a fan of sailing - *puke*) but I did want to suggest that you rotate which side your eye patch is on so you don't end up with one white eye. :-P
ReplyDeleteaaaargh! I hadn't considered the tan-line consequences of an eye patch! Perhaps I should get 2, and use them as a bikini top instead?
ReplyDeleteLMFAO! Nah, get some coconuts and wear those. Even if you don't fill 'em, no one will know, 'cause they don't count on boobs to hold their shape! ;)
ReplyDeleteI like the way you think, Erin. That was my dream as a kid to run off and be a buccaneer. Well, I'm now a little too old to be swinging on ropes, boarding other ships, and wielding a cutlass.
ReplyDelete-Millard
coconuts indeed! I will have plenty of them.
ReplyDeleteMillard, age is mental, and so am I, just mental enough to think the idea of swinging on ropes and swinging a cutlass sounds grand!
E's got a loverly bunch of coconuts....
ReplyDeleteokay, you guys can sing along an-y time now.
I think you'd be an awesome pirate, E.
Me! Me! *waves hand madly*
ReplyDeleteI volunteer!!!! Take me, take me!
I moved too far from NC to go to the beach like we used to, I wanna be a pirate too!
I'm blessed to live in Wilmington, but even with that kind of proximity to the beaches I find that far to often I don't get down to the water as often as I'd like. Wonder how much this pirate gig pays?
ReplyDeleteBut you can keep the parrot.
<--has never mizzened a mizzenmast or buckled any swashes, not have I ever tied any scurvy dawgsa to the yardarm, matey: but I'm willing to learn! :-)
ReplyDelete