Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Submission

Submission

You kneel, the fold of your knees pressing in,
the wail of a midnight train that parts my dreams.

There is no peace in the march of a tulip, fiery
orange into the blue sheen of snow. Steady

shorelines have no desire to defend themselves
from the crush of incoming tides. Yet you are

the face of the moon hung high on my thighs,
my secret shining. Your hands on my belly

tell me you no longer fear the invasion
promised by the smile of the Sunday sun.


13 comments:

  1. Wow, all I can say is "Wow!"

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  2. Thank you Billy!

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  3. ya know, something has got to give. I hesitate to respond to some of your work any more because if I like it and don't have a problem with it, you hate it. If I find a problem with it, you usually talk me away from the problem and I look like an idiot. So there, I like it.

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  4. lol V, I'm glad you like it. I like this one too! Hell, I've been working on it for 2 weeks! And besides, lately, the origami piece was the only one I hated, and I think I can save it, with some work.

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  5. I think it is beautiful and I love it. :)

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  6. Ooooh, E! That's puuuuur-teeeeee! :o)

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  7. You know, I really lov e something that can say something in a new, fresh or symbolic way. True poetry here at it's best and I am ~NOT~ exagerrating or patronizing you, E. I want you to know that. :-) ~ML and Happy Thursday. Keep this kind of stuff up, girl!

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  8. this one's really fuckin' good.

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  9. Thank you all! :) You guys have a knack for stroking my ego you know? Keep it up and you won't be able to stand me lol!
    ML
    E

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  10. the wail of a midnight train that parts my dreams

    Yet you are

    the face of the moon hung high on my thighs,
    my secret shining.


    Achingly sensual. Hee. Blends well with the title.

    Hullo. ^_^ My first time on your blog. I've read past poems, too. Oh I was blown away by the one entitled "Leaning on a Fencepost" (particularly the first stanza). Reading your poetry is such a mind-treat. Will be back for more. ^_^

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  11. Erin, thank you for the comment you have left on my blog (as regards the poem entitled "Bandaged"). Sadly, it has been deleted, along with two other comments from other visitors, due to a system glitch. (Haloscan has been having problems the whole day. Sigh.) Fortunately, I was able to read your comment hours ago; thus, I have posted a reply to it just now. ^_^ Again, thank you.

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  12. lol and I thought it was just blogspot that ate comments and posts!

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  13. Hello again. (This is me going through your two or three weeks of your blog.) I keep reading this:

    You kneel, the fold of your knees pressing in,
    the wail of a midnight train that parts my dreams.


    and thinking either the comma after "in" needs to go or you need "as" or something before "the wail." Maybe I am reading (and re-reading) it wrong? Seems like an unfinished sentence, which I wouldn't pick on if that were the case throughout the poem, but it's only there.

    Anyway... I really dig this one. Nice work!

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