Submission
You kneel, the fold of your knees pressing in,
the wail of a midnight train that parts my dreams.
There is no peace in the march of a tulip, fiery
orange into the blue sheen of snow. Steady
shorelines have no desire to defend themselves
from the crush of incoming tides. Yet you are
the face of the moon hung high on my thighs,
my secret shining. Your hands on my belly
tell me you no longer fear the invasion
promised by the smile of the Sunday sun.
Poetry
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Submission
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Wow, all I can say is "Wow!"
ReplyDeleteThank you Billy!
ReplyDeleteya know, something has got to give. I hesitate to respond to some of your work any more because if I like it and don't have a problem with it, you hate it. If I find a problem with it, you usually talk me away from the problem and I look like an idiot. So there, I like it.
ReplyDeletelol V, I'm glad you like it. I like this one too! Hell, I've been working on it for 2 weeks! And besides, lately, the origami piece was the only one I hated, and I think I can save it, with some work.
ReplyDeleteI think it is beautiful and I love it. :)
ReplyDeleteOoooh, E! That's puuuuur-teeeeee! :o)
ReplyDeleteYou know, I really lov e something that can say something in a new, fresh or symbolic way. True poetry here at it's best and I am ~NOT~ exagerrating or patronizing you, E. I want you to know that. :-) ~ML and Happy Thursday. Keep this kind of stuff up, girl!
ReplyDeletethis one's really fuckin' good.
ReplyDeleteThank you all! :) You guys have a knack for stroking my ego you know? Keep it up and you won't be able to stand me lol!
ReplyDeleteML
E
the wail of a midnight train that parts my dreams
ReplyDeleteYet you are
the face of the moon hung high on my thighs,
my secret shining.
Achingly sensual. Hee. Blends well with the title.
Hullo. ^_^ My first time on your blog. I've read past poems, too. Oh I was blown away by the one entitled "Leaning on a Fencepost" (particularly the first stanza). Reading your poetry is such a mind-treat. Will be back for more. ^_^
Erin, thank you for the comment you have left on my blog (as regards the poem entitled "Bandaged"). Sadly, it has been deleted, along with two other comments from other visitors, due to a system glitch. (Haloscan has been having problems the whole day. Sigh.) Fortunately, I was able to read your comment hours ago; thus, I have posted a reply to it just now. ^_^ Again, thank you.
ReplyDeletelol and I thought it was just blogspot that ate comments and posts!
ReplyDeleteHello again. (This is me going through your two or three weeks of your blog.) I keep reading this:
ReplyDeleteYou kneel, the fold of your knees pressing in,
the wail of a midnight train that parts my dreams.
and thinking either the comma after "in" needs to go or you need "as" or something before "the wail." Maybe I am reading (and re-reading) it wrong? Seems like an unfinished sentence, which I wouldn't pick on if that were the case throughout the poem, but it's only there.
Anyway... I really dig this one. Nice work!