I am frightened
in the shadow of paper towers
and cardboard tubes,
saddened
that we can't withstand the wind
blown from the fanning of the clock's turn,
and the failure of our folded airplanes
makes me wish we'd practice to perfect
our origami.
in the shadow of paper towers
and cardboard tubes,
saddened
that we can't withstand the wind
blown from the fanning of the clock's turn,
and the failure of our folded airplanes
makes me wish we'd practice to perfect
our origami.
Poetry
PS:
ReplyDeleteI am disliking this piece very much.
oh, but I love origami...I'm not so sure about the fanning of the clock's turn.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a new one myself...lol
I don't dislike it, but it doesn't move me like your poems usually do.
ReplyDeletefor one thing, you don't usually write one-sentence poems. That might be a turnoff right there. It does have some merit.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind the run on, I mind that it doesn't move me a bit either. Guess that's 5 minutes I'll never get back, lol. This one needs MUCH work, and I'm not even sure that it's worth it.
ReplyDeleteI think, unlike the rest, I really like the second stanza and the image I get of time moving too quickly.
ReplyDeleteThis certainly isn't your best piece ever, but it does have it's own sort of appeal.