Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I Did It

I am non-confrontational. I am peace-loving and, in many situations, entirely too submissive for my own good.

Today, I was not. Today, I put my foot down. I surpassed what, at one point, had become something of a friendship, or at the very least, what I perceived to be a mutual respect - and spoke my mind. I demanded what I deserve, using all evidence in my possession to overcome the inevitable arguments.

I put aside my fears for the ramifications, my concerns for the possible effect on future business dealings in the world of publication, and my good old home-grown southern belle sweetness to insist that I receive satisfaction in a situation where there is no doubt that I'm in the right.

I do not feel empowered, though maybe mildly proud of the guts I finally scraped together to accomplish this not-so-small feat of fortitude. My guts are like jelly and I'm worried about just how, in a world of backstabbers, overly sensitive poets, and seriously female females, this will be twisted into a weapon upon which I will soon find myself professionally impaled. For that, my dears, is simply how things work out for me.

*sigh*

13 comments:

  1. I'm proud of you. I'm only glad that I wasn't on the receiving end.

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  2. Erin! I'm so proud of you. And I wouldn't be so worried about ramifications in the publising world. She doesn't have nearly the clout she'd like to think she does.

    Of course, I can say these things to you, bout I don't know that I'd ever be able to do what you've done.

    I sincerely hope that everything turns out the way you need it to. And if not, you're free to move on with no legal ramifications, right?

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  3. lol i removed the other comment because this blospot crap has no friggen edit button.

    If this person doesn't do what they promised i will make them pay dearly :)) <----(insert evil laugh here)

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  4. lol V, everyone's pretty safe for a while. It took me over a week to work up to this one!

    Ang~
    *whew* it wasn't as hard as I thought, and yet, harder in a way. The writing wasn't so bad, the sending took a while to work up to lol. We'll see how things go from here. I know SHE doesn't personally hold that much water, but the poetry community is small, and she knows people who knows people, and I worry that this will be twisted around into something it never was.
    Oh well, I had to stand up for myself.


    Scotty~
    It's ok that you messed up the first comment, I deleted it all the way for you - we all know how a porn-style name will eat away at your brains!

    I don't know what you have planned for her, but I know that laugh well enough to know it's either VERY enjoyable, or very UNpleasant. Somehow, I'm betting on the latter here ;)

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  5. All I Can say is, "You go girl. You git yer satisfaction!" ~ML

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  6. lol Mike, maybe, but so far all I'm getting is ignored. Same as it has been for months :D

    Lovely eh.

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  7. You know, I use Outlook Express for my mail, and when it downloads new messages, it makes this little musical noise that reminds me a little of a doorbell... anyway, the point is, every time it goes 'ding-dong' my heart jumps a little.

    I am so not brave!

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  8. You're doing fine, hon. And, my email box is always open to you.

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  9. Ignored, schnignored! Things such as these tend to catch up with people. Karma or no. Their behavior catches up to them. 'Thing is, they're going about their lives so wrapped up in their own behavior, indecision and how the world efffects THEM, they tend to forget about how their behavior effects others, and this is key: UNTIL IT (their behavior) CATCHES UP TO THEM. I sincerely believe that not matter how unmerciful life seems in the case of dealing with this particular person - LIFE, is not merciful to ANYONE! Great thing is, ya don't even have to lift a finger. And it doesn't matter, after all, whether you ever hear from this person again. You can bank on it catching up with them just as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow morning, hon.

    Fear of what they'll do in the future? Those whom know you know you well and well, eff the rest!

    Easy to say in the throes of worry and fret (believe me, I know!), but things tend to work themselves out, no?

    Hugs and ~ML

    I'm with you on your last part here - I can relate so well to this!

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  10. Courage is being afraid and doing what needs to be done anyway. You my dear, if not brave, are at teh very least courageous.

    *go on girl, witcha bad self*

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  11. Such a hard thing to do. Way to go !

    I can understand your concerns, but usually it's funny how it works and when you put people in their place, they actually listen. I hope this will be the case for you.

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  12. Strangely enough I was doing a training course yesterday that touched on assertiveness training-- you ought to have a look at something like that. The key point is that you have a right to your feelings and shouldn't feel guilty about expressing them.

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  13. Well, I for one, am on the side of your guts and not your dismal feelings about what may happen.
    Seen in a breakfast restaurant:
    "Worry is the interest we pay on trouble which isn't due..."

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