All Day
I sat outside tonight contemplating
the mystery of kudzu,
the tentative nature of poetry
and the night sky.
There is no more there now
than there was before:
darkness, stars,
the chill of Autumn
and light years of emptiness.
I dreamt last night that I had cancer,
that my hair fell out
and the doctor's examination light
reflected in the smoothness of my scalp.
It was disconcerting.
Not that I had cancer,
but that I'd become a mirror
for the things around me,
that the darkness was within me,
and the light could not get through.
I'm sure there's some
subconscious interpretation,
I just don't know what it is.
I don't care much really,
but the image of that reflection
has stayed with me all day.
tags:Stream of Consciousness, poetry, Free Writing
Good to see poetry back! I was brought up short by the bathos of the lines 'that my hair fell out' and 'It was disconcerting': the phrases seem redolent of the dejected, matter-of-fact, expressionless tone of voice associated with sufferers from depression, but break the fluency of the rest, so that unless that is your intention, I'd rework that bit.
ReplyDeletethat is some awesomely good poetry Erin.
ReplyDeleteThis is a free write. that's the whole point. If she reworked it, then it would cease to be as such.
ReplyDeleteI like it as a free write. And perhaps, it could be more. But, as a free write, awesome!
"But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong." ~ Dennis Miller
Thanks for the comments guys.
ReplyDeleteMartin, I had no intentions - it was a rambling thought process in my head the other night. I spell checked, that was all the editing this piece got. I might rework it later, we'll see. Mostly it was a cathartic explosion.
Rain~ Thanks sweety!
James~ *hug* You 'get' me ALL the time.
Simply profound. Your words captures some of the human heart's greatest fears. Illness, emptiness. Great read.
ReplyDelete