The Tarheel tavern #86

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Tarheel Tavern #86 will be at Poetic Acceptance this week. I'd love to get posts that include your thoughts on the holidays, the change of season/weather, something. But you all know me, whatever you send, I'll include! Email your entires to erin@poeticacceptance.com by Saturday night at midnight! (Unless you're running late, I like to add in late submissions!)



I'm desperately seeking Susan -or anyone else that would like to host! If you're interested, please take a peek at the Tarheel Tavern website, pick an open weekend, and email me!

If...

I was asked today, "If you could have stopped aging at any point in your life up to the present, how old would you want to remain?"

I'm really happy with who I am at this point in my life. Especially when it comes to my relationship with my husband. We're in a really good place together, and I wouldn't want to change that at all. I'm also probably in the best place as far as my sense of self is concerned. I'm probably more self-assured now than I've ever been. I like me, and I like 'us' too. For the first time I can ever remember, I'm pretty darn comfortable in my own skin. That's a pretty good feeling. It's also more than a lot of people can say.

But my first reaction was to go back to 2000. Back before my babies started dying.

So in the end, this question, for me, turned out to be more of a choice between having Alexis and Nova back and being in a less desirable place as a person (and frankly, a less desirable person) - or being the wiser person without my babies.

I'm glad it's just a philosophical question and not a real-life choice, because I don't know which I'd choose. Losing them has made me a better wife, a better mother, and frankly, a better person, but I don't know if that would matter to me if I had the chance to have them back.

Lemonade

How are ya?

I dunno.

Whatcha doin'?

Makin lemonade.

Makin' lemonade? But you don't like lemonade.

Nope. Lemon meringue pie woulda been better, but I'm all out of eggs.

So, what are ya gonna do with the lemonade? Drink it?

Nah. I'll give it to my neighbors.

Why the hell you gonna do that?

Cuz they've never had lemonade, might as well share it.

A Mother Whose Heart Must Go On

The Charlotte Observer story is out. It's a two page spread in the Arts & Living section, starting with the front page. The whole front page. You can read it online here.

'Zilla, Thank you so much for the order on Kassi's fundraiser!

x2

Kassi just got home from school - she's in chorus this year, I remember chorus. I figure she and I are pretty much alike, can't sing all that well, but love the class. I loved chorus, but I don't know how in the world I passed the class with a voice like mine.

Anyway, Kassi's school was really supportive of our family for the Heart Walk. They raised $653 in one day for a kid that had attended their school less than 2 weeks, because they're awesome like that. Seriously.

Now they're asking that I return the favor and support them in their fundraising efforts. They're making it easy (and probably much more successful) by adding a "shop online" feature, which I'm sharing with you. I totally understand if you can't order, because you all pretty well tapped yourselves out donating to the AHA. I know.

Just in case (what with Christmas coming and all) you can view the catalogue and order at the Reader's Digest Home and Gift Collection site. If it asks for the school or organization ID (it shouldn't but...) use the organization finder and choose the Sun Valley Middle School Chorus. Kassi will get the credit, and her school will get the money. I'm thinking hard about ordering the silver fortune cookie. It just looks neat. Plus, well, Christmas is coming, and I'd rather shop online than go out there and do it in real life, so I'll probably do some Christmas shopping here too.

sorry

I haven't been doing very well with my internet friends lately. It isn't that I don't love yas. I'm just, well, lost. Blogging has required too much effort, required energy I don't have.

I have been busy with doing things, dealing with kids, meetings, schools, playdates with Terra... Christmas shopping. God how I dread this holiday season. Spent time with the multimedia guy from The Charlotte Observer his morning - rerecording a reading I'd done with the reporter, a post from August - a post from a good day in August, when there were flowers and heat waves. Now it's all falling leaves, the garden is hibernating, and there's a cold wind.

I'm curled up in myself, trying to find the warmth. Not doing so well finding the sun during this grey Autumn week.

Anyway, sorry for not doing a lot of reading or commenting. Sorry for the lack of email replies and blog comments. I'm here. It's just that I'm here and not so much there.

My New Tattoo

Not really. But I'd do it.
http://www.imagechef.com/ic/product.jsp

(ToH: Rose)

All Day

All Day

I sat outside tonight contemplating
the mystery of kudzu,
the tentative nature of poetry
and the night sky.

There is no more there now
than there was before:
darkness, stars,
the chill of Autumn
and light years of emptiness.

I dreamt last night that I had cancer,
that my hair fell out
and the doctor's examination light
reflected in the smoothness of my scalp.

It was disconcerting.

Not that I had cancer,
but that I'd become a mirror
for the things around me,
that the darkness was within me,
and the light could not get through.

I'm sure there's some
subconscious interpretation,
I just don't know what it is.

I don't care much really,
but the image of that reflection
has stayed with me all day.

tags:Stream of Consciousness, poetry, Free Writing

Senseo coffee maker

Well, I'm an asshole. I'm selling my SENSEO coffee pot on eBay cuz I need the cash. I know I know, it's probably just wrong to sell it, but I am. There's less than 2 hours left and it's at $20. Want it? Click here and buy it!

TTHT #84

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Bora, the founder of The Tarheel Tavern, and rightfully titled "Carnival Blogfather" is hosting the Tarheel Tavern this week, and it is a beaut!