Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I miss...

I miss sleep. When I was eyeball-deep in that big project, I was up working till 3 or 4 in the morning every night for a week - just long enough to totally exacerbate my already chronic and unforgiving insomnia. Since starting that project on January 6th, I haven't been to sleep before 3:30 a.m. not one single time. That site went live last Tuesday, I should have gotten myself all straightened out by now, but I just haven't been able to do it.

It's bad enough that I'm just bone tired, and that my eyes are burning - but it's messing with my head too. One thing I've learned over the years is that when I get into one of these patterns, I get overly emotional, weepy, sad, depressed, melancholic...with no emotional event to act as reason for it. Its like a thin layer of ash has settled over everything, and turned everything grey.

And of course, on top of that, I've been mostly useless to my other clients in the interim. I can't concentrate long enough. I can't get motivated, when I do I don't trust what I'm doing because I know I'm not thinking clearly.

I just want to sleep. I want to get my head back on straight before I lose my ongoing clients and my sanity! And definitely before I get my next big project!

3 comments: