OK, I've been a little bit pissy today. That's what happens when an addict has their drug taken from them you know. Pissiness. Blogger has been down with some sort of issue, and thereby denying me my drug of choice: blogging.
However, I have to give props where they're due. Blogger is free, you know? But the techie team is always humping it to fix the problem, whatever it is. Pretty dedicated technical service for a free site.
I recently bought Scott a Logitech Momo Gaming Steering Wheel. A Momo is apparently the wheel to have for the serious gamer (serious gamer - oxymoron anyone?) and they don't come cheap. He's had it a month maybe, and last night it wouldn't come on, no power, the pc wouldn't even detect it. So off to the website to find tech support for a product I paid dearly for. Guess what. Basically, want in one hand and shit in the other and see which hand fills up first. We figured out on our own that it was a problem with the power cord, and once I realized there was no tech support to speak of, I went to see if there was a page to order replacement parts. Nope. You have to buy a whole new damned wheel. If I buy a new wheel, it'll be anything but another Logitech product.
So after that, I figure I can't complain about Blogger's free service. I can't yet leave a comment anywhere, but hey, I can blog!! One downfall of technology is that shit happens. At least Blogger fixes theirs. I even emailed them to say thanks, and you know, rib them a little about the picture uploads ;)
Speaking of pictures, remember when I blogged about the plants in my garden, and those bushes with pink flowers that I didn't know the name of? The one's we paid 50 cents each for? Well they're called Guara, or Passionate Blush (or Siskyou Pink, or Sunny Butterfly)... Here (on the left) and here are a couple of pictures of it. Scott was out on a Supernova hosta hunt this evening and saw the guara and checked the name, mostly because it's been bugging me since we got them.
He did not, however, find the Supernovas. Zilla has some in her garden. Actually she's the reason I even know they exist. As if she hasn't given me enough - she emailed today and offered to send me one of hers in October when they go into hibernation in the northern-er climes. Could she BE any greater?!
In other news. I hurt all over. I'm SUCH a wuss. I hurt in places that have no right to feel pain. Remind me not to try swinging a pick axe anymore eh? Guess that's what I get for planting in a leach field. I filled the pond this afternoon - it leaks. Guess I'll have to buy one of those damned liners. I hate to do it, I wanted to RECYCLE stuff into this garden (Get it? Giving "dead" things new life?) but damn if I'm having a friggin empty wheel barrow basin buried in my yard, no matter how perfectly arranged the stones around it are!
Wednesday, June 7, 2006
blogger buzz
Monday, June 05, 2006
Photo uploading will be disabled for 30 minutes this evening starting at 10pm (Pacific Time).
Update: This is taking longer than expected. Hopefully we will be done by 11:45pm (Pacific Time). We will update as we learn more.
Update: We are now finished. Thank you for your patience.
Posted by Jason at 15:46 PDT
I still can't upload pictures, haven't been able to on any consistent basis for days. I'm hoping that "finished" is open for interpretation. You know, maybe "finished" really means "we're still working on it." Or hey, I know, maybe it's a time zone thing, and their "finished" will catch up to me or I'll catch up to it or something.
Anyone else still having picture upload problems? It's been driving me insane for days! One minute it won't, then all of a sudden it will, then it won't again. See? It did. Now it won't. Again.
Tuesday, June 6, 2006
$675
Thank you Writer Mom, for the donation, for the link, and for putting his picture with the link. Isn't he beautiful? Thank you Rain for your donation too. And Zilla, thank you again and again and again. You don't rock, you boulder. (How's THAT for cheesy and stupid!?)
$475! no... $575!
Zilla is my superhero (in a cheetah print cape) for the day! Seriously, that kicks ass, and I didn't realize that the anonymous donation was from her, so DOUBLE thanks Zilla!
Go ahead, click her link and see why she kicks so much ass. I'll wait.
See, isn't that the shit!? Told ya.
Today is the two month mark, and even though I'm hurting, I cannot help but be so encouraged, so touched, and just... christ, what's the word? I just feel so good to know that so much is happening in Nova's name. It makes me cry - in a good way, a very very good way.
brb gotta go blow my nose and stuff, seriously.
OK. Whew.
I have been outside most of the day, working on the memorial garden for Alexis and Nova. I started out by dismantling the wheel barrow - an old one that was way past being usable. I took off all the bits and baubles and caulked up the bolt holes while Scott dug a matching hole. It became the water feature/pond/fountain bit. Fitting, considering everything in the garden is recycled and rescued eh? So I leveled that out and took all of the stepping stones we had (more recycled items from a customer's yard) and put them around it to disguise the edges. Each stone weighed as much as I did, and I'm a perfectionist - sort of, and it took me ages to fit them together like I wanted. Then, I dug some holes for the Nandinas on either side, and a couple more holes for, um, I don't know what they're called, some sort of palm type tropical things. I left areas for the Supernovas and Cupcake roses when we can afford them. I still had a palmy-thing and a Nandina left so I dug a couple more holes... And in between each hole and plant, I rearranged the stones around the 'pond' because I'm a freak like that. The cool thing about the stones is that they're full of mica, so they sparkle in the sun. I had to bust a couple up, to get the right sizes and shapes and such, but I'm finally happy with the way they look now (until I go back out and look again probably.)
So, after several many hours of stripping the sod off the area, digging holes, and carrying those stones, I'm feeling deeply satisfied with my efforts and my results so far. And sore. Man am I sore. I am so sore.
Holy Bejeezus! My donation total just rose to $475! And the last donation was via Zilla's linky list, so it actually rose to $575! Thank you Writer Mom! And thanks again Zilla. I didn't think today could possibly turn out to be a good day!
Go ahead, click her link and see why she kicks so much ass. I'll wait.
See, isn't that the shit!? Told ya.
Today is the two month mark, and even though I'm hurting, I cannot help but be so encouraged, so touched, and just... christ, what's the word? I just feel so good to know that so much is happening in Nova's name. It makes me cry - in a good way, a very very good way.
brb gotta go blow my nose and stuff, seriously.
OK. Whew.
I have been outside most of the day, working on the memorial garden for Alexis and Nova. I started out by dismantling the wheel barrow - an old one that was way past being usable. I took off all the bits and baubles and caulked up the bolt holes while Scott dug a matching hole. It became the water feature/pond/fountain bit. Fitting, considering everything in the garden is recycled and rescued eh? So I leveled that out and took all of the stepping stones we had (more recycled items from a customer's yard) and put them around it to disguise the edges. Each stone weighed as much as I did, and I'm a perfectionist - sort of, and it took me ages to fit them together like I wanted. Then, I dug some holes for the Nandinas on either side, and a couple more holes for, um, I don't know what they're called, some sort of palm type tropical things. I left areas for the Supernovas and Cupcake roses when we can afford them. I still had a palmy-thing and a Nandina left so I dug a couple more holes... And in between each hole and plant, I rearranged the stones around the 'pond' because I'm a freak like that. The cool thing about the stones is that they're full of mica, so they sparkle in the sun. I had to bust a couple up, to get the right sizes and shapes and such, but I'm finally happy with the way they look now (until I go back out and look again probably.)
So, after several many hours of stripping the sod off the area, digging holes, and carrying those stones, I'm feeling deeply satisfied with my efforts and my results so far. And sore. Man am I sore. I am so sore.
Holy Bejeezus! My donation total just rose to $475! And the last donation was via Zilla's linky list, so it actually rose to $575! Thank you Writer Mom! And thanks again Zilla. I didn't think today could possibly turn out to be a good day!
Monday, June 5, 2006
everyone gardens in a housecoat, right?
It's funny how things happen sometimes, how life surprises you, even with the small stuff.
I had a hell of a night last night. It just sucked, 'nuff said. I got up this morning in no better shape then when I went to bed. Tomorrow marks 2 months, and I've been feeling it for a week. So I expected to have a really lousy day. My kids went to school, my mother took my oldest fishing, and I took the opportuinty to melt down a bit while I had no one around to "play ok" for.
Then, the donations started coming in, and they came in at several different times today, and always when I was starting to sliiiiide back into the pit. A total of $250 dollars has come in today, and at perfect intervals. I have been encouraged and heartened and cheered and given the all around warm-fuzzies today thanks to some very warm-hearted and caring people. I have smiled. A lot. So much I almost felt guilty, until someone I love dearly said "FUCK THE GUILT!" and I took her advice.
Then, my husband came home from work. Guess what he had? He had bushes. Eight rescue bushes that someone else wanted out of their yard. They'd told Scott to take them to the dump - he brought them home and dumped them into our rescue-garden. We haven't paid for a thing out there, and this year, it's beautiful out there. Anyway, the bushes are Nandinas. And that is why they're so perfect.
Remember a few weeks ago when I posted about planting Cupcake miniature roses for Alexis, and Supernova hostas for Nova, and adding a pond/waterfall? Well, we haven't been able to afford to do that yet, but that's our plan for our memorial garden for the babies. Nandinas will fit in perfectly. The first time I ever noticed Nandinas was while we were at the hospital with Nova. They have loads of them all over there. They're green now, and they'll have tiny flowers (or maybe they're past their bloom for this year?) and in the fall they'll turn a beautiful reddish color, and get berries. I fell in love with them while we were making our daily hospital trips. What more perfect plant could we add than the bushes I fell in love with at the hospital that cared for both of my babies?
He came home with them and I went out for a while, but it got a bit chilly (for me anyway) and I ran in and threw on my housecoat. He asked me to come out and see how they looked (beautiful of course) and what do I see? Scott had dug up all of the Irises! See, in late 2004, we planted 20 bulbs along the fence line in the garden. But they multiplied and then I got pregnant and gave up on weeding and they were a wreck, overgrown, overcrowded, buried in weeds that had just gone too far. Tonight he dug them up and I, in my housecoat, in the yard, separated them. There are now 70 plants/bulbs that I can replant in a better location. Possibly as a backdrop in the memory garden, and down the one side of the driveway, or maybe some at the mailbox? I just don't know yet, but there are a LOT of Irises.
If only he'd watched which ones came from where so I could keep the reds and the yellows separate when I replant...
Anyway, now the eyesore of grass an overgrown crowded up messy Irises is gone from the garden, we have new bushes along the one edge where it was naked before. The Nandinas were perfect for that spot. I have enough plants right now to at least start the Memorial Garden tomorrow. I have a lot of gardening to do tomorrow, which is excellent, because I need to stay busy tomorrow, and nothing soothes me like getting out there and getting dirty, especially if I'm doing it for the Memorial Garden!
I have these bushes out there now, more rescue plants that we actually DID pay for... if you think 50 cents per 5 gallon pot counts as paying. Anyway, they were sticks in dirt, and I thought for sure they were dead. The folks at Wal-Mart did too, which explains the price, and the lack of labels. We have no idea what they're called. But they're gorgeous this year, in full bloom, it's a small sea of dainty little pink flowers on tall stems coming from small bushy bushes with tiny tear drop shaped leaves... They're my favorite plant out there, the underdogs that won, like I told Ron.
My rose bush is bustin' out all over, the Canna Lilies are in full bloom, my Hostas are about to bloom, and my Rosemary bush would like to take over the whole garden. I keep having to trim it to keep it under control. It started out (last year - mother's day) as a 8" tall little thing, shaped like a Christmas tree. Now, it's round, easily 3 feet across, and about the same height. And MAN does it smell good.
I love my little garden, I really do, I just wish I were more adept. Thank God for Scott, or all I'd have would be a big plot of dirt with dead sticks and withered greenery.
So now I've babbled, when all I really wanted to say was that sometimes, when you're really lucky, and surrounded by people who love you, a shitty day can turn out to be something really surprisingly great. So thanks, all of you, and you too Scotty! I love you!
I just got an email from Ron. He says Nandinas are also called "Heavenly Bamboo." Even more perfect. Love it. Thanks Ron!
I had a hell of a night last night. It just sucked, 'nuff said. I got up this morning in no better shape then when I went to bed. Tomorrow marks 2 months, and I've been feeling it for a week. So I expected to have a really lousy day. My kids went to school, my mother took my oldest fishing, and I took the opportuinty to melt down a bit while I had no one around to "play ok" for.
Then, the donations started coming in, and they came in at several different times today, and always when I was starting to sliiiiide back into the pit. A total of $250 dollars has come in today, and at perfect intervals. I have been encouraged and heartened and cheered and given the all around warm-fuzzies today thanks to some very warm-hearted and caring people. I have smiled. A lot. So much I almost felt guilty, until someone I love dearly said "FUCK THE GUILT!" and I took her advice.
Then, my husband came home from work. Guess what he had? He had bushes. Eight rescue bushes that someone else wanted out of their yard. They'd told Scott to take them to the dump - he brought them home and dumped them into our rescue-garden. We haven't paid for a thing out there, and this year, it's beautiful out there. Anyway, the bushes are Nandinas. And that is why they're so perfect.
Remember a few weeks ago when I posted about planting Cupcake miniature roses for Alexis, and Supernova hostas for Nova, and adding a pond/waterfall? Well, we haven't been able to afford to do that yet, but that's our plan for our memorial garden for the babies. Nandinas will fit in perfectly. The first time I ever noticed Nandinas was while we were at the hospital with Nova. They have loads of them all over there. They're green now, and they'll have tiny flowers (or maybe they're past their bloom for this year?) and in the fall they'll turn a beautiful reddish color, and get berries. I fell in love with them while we were making our daily hospital trips. What more perfect plant could we add than the bushes I fell in love with at the hospital that cared for both of my babies?
He came home with them and I went out for a while, but it got a bit chilly (for me anyway) and I ran in and threw on my housecoat. He asked me to come out and see how they looked (beautiful of course) and what do I see? Scott had dug up all of the Irises! See, in late 2004, we planted 20 bulbs along the fence line in the garden. But they multiplied and then I got pregnant and gave up on weeding and they were a wreck, overgrown, overcrowded, buried in weeds that had just gone too far. Tonight he dug them up and I, in my housecoat, in the yard, separated them. There are now 70 plants/bulbs that I can replant in a better location. Possibly as a backdrop in the memory garden, and down the one side of the driveway, or maybe some at the mailbox? I just don't know yet, but there are a LOT of Irises.
If only he'd watched which ones came from where so I could keep the reds and the yellows separate when I replant...
Anyway, now the eyesore of grass an overgrown crowded up messy Irises is gone from the garden, we have new bushes along the one edge where it was naked before. The Nandinas were perfect for that spot. I have enough plants right now to at least start the Memorial Garden tomorrow. I have a lot of gardening to do tomorrow, which is excellent, because I need to stay busy tomorrow, and nothing soothes me like getting out there and getting dirty, especially if I'm doing it for the Memorial Garden!
I have these bushes out there now, more rescue plants that we actually DID pay for... if you think 50 cents per 5 gallon pot counts as paying. Anyway, they were sticks in dirt, and I thought for sure they were dead. The folks at Wal-Mart did too, which explains the price, and the lack of labels. We have no idea what they're called. But they're gorgeous this year, in full bloom, it's a small sea of dainty little pink flowers on tall stems coming from small bushy bushes with tiny tear drop shaped leaves... They're my favorite plant out there, the underdogs that won, like I told Ron.
My rose bush is bustin' out all over, the Canna Lilies are in full bloom, my Hostas are about to bloom, and my Rosemary bush would like to take over the whole garden. I keep having to trim it to keep it under control. It started out (last year - mother's day) as a 8" tall little thing, shaped like a Christmas tree. Now, it's round, easily 3 feet across, and about the same height. And MAN does it smell good.
I love my little garden, I really do, I just wish I were more adept. Thank God for Scott, or all I'd have would be a big plot of dirt with dead sticks and withered greenery.
So now I've babbled, when all I really wanted to say was that sometimes, when you're really lucky, and surrounded by people who love you, a shitty day can turn out to be something really surprisingly great. So thanks, all of you, and you too Scotty! I love you!
I just got an email from Ron. He says Nandinas are also called "Heavenly Bamboo." Even more perfect. Love it. Thanks Ron!
or maybe even $375!
Thank you Erin! Both for the donation, and another much needed warm-fuzzy smile. Love you! I'm up to $375 now!
$325 woo hooo hooo!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve! I adore you! My donations tally has now reached $325!!! Thank you! I'm almost 1/2 way to my goal. And the kids and Scotty just started today with their fund raising, so the team goal ($2000) is well within reach!
Today started out as a real pisser, but the donations that have been made today really turned that around for me. Thanks so much!
Today started out as a real pisser, but the donations that have been made today really turned that around for me. Thanks so much!
god damn it all to hell
Terra has become very affectionate and loving lately. Where she used to be extremely independent, and either had to be tackled, blackmailed or begged for a kiss, she now tells me over and over every day that she loves me, asks me for hugs and kisses, and even wants me to kiss her stuffed animals at night when I tuck her in.
Yesterday she came over with this scraggly-headed naked doll, with a big sweet smile on her face, and asked for a kiss and a hug, one of each for her, and one of each for her baby. (in the proper order, hug baby first, then a kiss for the baby, then a hug for her, then her kiss...) She was holding it just so, and my breath caught in my throat for a minute. I had this mental image of how she'd be with Nova now, so gentle and sweet, and how he'd love her.
Tomorrow marks two months since Nova died, and it's about time to get his things packed up. As it stands, I can't even sleep with my husband for staring through the empty slats of the crib next to the bed and bawling. We're also getting rid of the waterbed, because I can't sleep in it anymore because he spent so many nights in it beside me. I just can't.
I started sleeping on the couch while Nova was in the hospital because I kept having this dream that he was crying, and I'd wake up standing next to his crib, frantically trying to find him. It was a bit too much like the crying jags over Alexis' crib before she was born, and I retreated to the cribless quietude of the livingroom. I've not spent a night in bed since then. I tried it the other night, I swear I did, and dissolved in to tears in about a minute, and spent the rest of the night that way. Scotty's been very understanding and not-pissy about it, but I think it's time.
So my niece is pregnant, and due in September. I told her when we first found out that she was pregnant that I'd pass along his things when he no longer needed them. He no longer needs them, and I'm hoping that neither do I. Going through his things and packing them up is going to be so hard. Giving them away even harder. I'm dreading it, but also feeling not only that it needs to be done but that I need to do it.
Yesterday she came over with this scraggly-headed naked doll, with a big sweet smile on her face, and asked for a kiss and a hug, one of each for her, and one of each for her baby. (in the proper order, hug baby first, then a kiss for the baby, then a hug for her, then her kiss...) She was holding it just so, and my breath caught in my throat for a minute. I had this mental image of how she'd be with Nova now, so gentle and sweet, and how he'd love her.
Tomorrow marks two months since Nova died, and it's about time to get his things packed up. As it stands, I can't even sleep with my husband for staring through the empty slats of the crib next to the bed and bawling. We're also getting rid of the waterbed, because I can't sleep in it anymore because he spent so many nights in it beside me. I just can't.
I started sleeping on the couch while Nova was in the hospital because I kept having this dream that he was crying, and I'd wake up standing next to his crib, frantically trying to find him. It was a bit too much like the crying jags over Alexis' crib before she was born, and I retreated to the cribless quietude of the livingroom. I've not spent a night in bed since then. I tried it the other night, I swear I did, and dissolved in to tears in about a minute, and spent the rest of the night that way. Scotty's been very understanding and not-pissy about it, but I think it's time.
So my niece is pregnant, and due in September. I told her when we first found out that she was pregnant that I'd pass along his things when he no longer needed them. He no longer needs them, and I'm hoping that neither do I. Going through his things and packing them up is going to be so hard. Giving them away even harder. I'm dreading it, but also feeling not only that it needs to be done but that I need to do it.
Sunday, June 4, 2006
a Ménage à Trois for Erin
Once upon a time, I won't give details about when exactly, I said that threesomes were so good they should sell them. Menage a Trois in a bottle, and if they did, I'd become an alcoholic.
Guess what I just found.
in red, white, and rose
Looks like it's time I should eat my words...
Guess what I just found.
in red, white, and rose
Looks like it's time I should eat my words...
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