addendum, on another note...

We (or should I say *I*) had a very busy day. It started out with shopping for baby stuff for a baby shower for a co-worker, then a shower, then gift bags and bows and tissue paper. Then lunch with another co-worker before the shower. Then my sister and my nephews and niece came by (yup, she needed something - as usual) then, at roughly 7:30 on a Sunday night, I realized we hadn't had dinner. Off we ran to McDonalds because it was a quick fix for the time crunch.

On the way home, something came on the radio that Kassi hated and she asked us if we'd change stations. The child is convinced that she owns the damned radio in the car. So, we changed it, to the 80's channel or some other shit we'd never listen to, you know, just to torture her. Of course I sang loudly, and badly, and we all laughed and acted silly. Well, you remember that song "Just Dance" by Lee Ann Womack? The one she supposedly wrote to her young daughter? Well it came on, and Terra listened for a minute and said, quite out of the blue, "When I hear this song, it makes me think about Alexis."

And then I cried. I haven't had that sort of unexpected emotional outburst in a while. It's been nearly 9 years since Alexis died - the years dull the edges. But this one, god, it was such a damned surprise. What in the world made Terra think of Alexis during that song!? Sure it was from the singer to her daughter, but Terra didn't know that, and the lyrics certainly don't make that obvious.

It was like the Universe decided to play whack-a-mole. *DOINK* right in the head. Sheesh! Of course now I'm a little stuck on the fact that Alexis would be turning 9 this summer. Holy shit where do the years go? Happily I can say that for the most part, I think much more about how old my living children will be turning, and not so much about the sad count of years the others have been gone or how old they should be turning.

Anyway. I think there's going to be a lot of new posts here, at least for a while. Seems I've got a lot of purging to do.

Thanks in advance to those who actually stick around to read my rants and self-pity and general bitching. Maybe I'll get around to some poetry eventually. That'd be a surprise huh?