McCain v Sleaster
William Sleaster, a student at Concord High School rose to ask McCain a question about gay rights and, ultimately dissatisfied by the answer he received from McCain, told the Republican presidential contender that he'd come looking to see a leader and didn't.
[The Rest of the Story]
I wish I had this kid's phone number - I'd text him a big fat ^5 for being unafraid to speak his mind, and for asking the hard questions, and EXPECTING AN ANSWER, without being intimidated by McCain.
Of course, McCain didn't give him any real answers, but we know his position on Gay Marriage and gay rights in general.
I just don't understand why we should value his opinion on any kind of marriage when he cheated on his crippled wife, then left and divorced her to marry his mistress.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Since Nova Died
Since Nova died, I have moved far far away from the world of poetry and writing. But some folks at 29 Days have visited here and read some of my poetry, and have really encouraged me to come back to it. It feels strange, even reading others' writing, it seems like a distant place now.
But today I was sent 2 links. The first was to a fellow blogger, Jane Pupyek. She is a published author (that which I used to want desperately to be) and on her blog you can find excerpts of her books, as well as reviews. I already wanted Tomato Girl before I'd finished reading the front page of her blog. But as I scrolled down I saw that another blogger was hosting a give-a-way: an autographed copy of Tomato Girl, and I want it!
Because you know, Scott got laid off, and even though he's got a job now, our finances are screwed well beyond the point of ordering a book I just can't live without!
Anyway, check out the reviews, and if you decide you want a free copy of Tomato Girl, leave Kathy at Bermuda Onion a comment and you'll be entered into her give-a-way. If, like me, you NEED a copy of Tomato Girl, you'll blog about her give-a-way and link back to her :)
Oh, the other link I got was to a poem on The Greensboro Review, written by Natasha Trethewey. Once you read it you'll know why it spoke personally to me...
Love y'all!
~E
But today I was sent 2 links. The first was to a fellow blogger, Jane Pupyek. She is a published author (that which I used to want desperately to be) and on her blog you can find excerpts of her books, as well as reviews. I already wanted Tomato Girl before I'd finished reading the front page of her blog. But as I scrolled down I saw that another blogger was hosting a give-a-way: an autographed copy of Tomato Girl, and I want it!
Because you know, Scott got laid off, and even though he's got a job now, our finances are screwed well beyond the point of ordering a book I just can't live without!
Anyway, check out the reviews, and if you decide you want a free copy of Tomato Girl, leave Kathy at Bermuda Onion a comment and you'll be entered into her give-a-way. If, like me, you NEED a copy of Tomato Girl, you'll blog about her give-a-way and link back to her :)
Oh, the other link I got was to a poem on The Greensboro Review, written by Natasha Trethewey. Once you read it you'll know why it spoke personally to me...
Love y'all!
~E
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I did it!
I did it!
I mentioned in a prior post what a fiasco the 2007 Heart Walk was, right? Well today I got (yet another) email from the Charlotte Heart Walk organizers (form letter that goes out to all members) all but begging (in a rather panicked voice) us to send out 10 emails recruiting more walkers, thereby boosting our fundraising potential. Well, they've always sent out this type of email, but they've begun to sound deperate, which I'm sure they are, since the event has fallen so short of it's goal.
Well I believe that their lack of success this year has everything to do with the way it went last year, and the fact that this year seems to be headed the same way. The smaller teams have been made to feel totally discounted, unimportant, and passed over in favor of the big matching-shirt corporate company teams. It's all about the money, and while I fully understand that this is, in fact, a FUND RAISING event, I feel that they've shot themselves in the foot by taking this new tact.
Donors from previous years have very little confidence in them. *I* have very little confidence in them and even less motivation, and that's scary because this was my absolute life line for 2 years. But the way they treat us now, well, they aren't so muc making me feel like Team Nova doesn't count as much as inadvertantly saying that Nova and Alexis don't count.
Anyway.
So I responded to the email and gently, and as politely as possible, explained all of this to them. I don't know that I'll get a response, or if they'll hear what I said, but I've stood up for myself, and it feels good to have voiced my opinion, because ever since last year I've held my tongue.
I mentioned in a prior post what a fiasco the 2007 Heart Walk was, right? Well today I got (yet another) email from the Charlotte Heart Walk organizers (form letter that goes out to all members) all but begging (in a rather panicked voice) us to send out 10 emails recruiting more walkers, thereby boosting our fundraising potential. Well, they've always sent out this type of email, but they've begun to sound deperate, which I'm sure they are, since the event has fallen so short of it's goal.
Well I believe that their lack of success this year has everything to do with the way it went last year, and the fact that this year seems to be headed the same way. The smaller teams have been made to feel totally discounted, unimportant, and passed over in favor of the big matching-shirt corporate company teams. It's all about the money, and while I fully understand that this is, in fact, a FUND RAISING event, I feel that they've shot themselves in the foot by taking this new tact.
Donors from previous years have very little confidence in them. *I* have very little confidence in them and even less motivation, and that's scary because this was my absolute life line for 2 years. But the way they treat us now, well, they aren't so muc making me feel like Team Nova doesn't count as much as inadvertantly saying that Nova and Alexis don't count.
Anyway.
So I responded to the email and gently, and as politely as possible, explained all of this to them. I don't know that I'll get a response, or if they'll hear what I said, but I've stood up for myself, and it feels good to have voiced my opinion, because ever since last year I've held my tongue.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Overwhelmed!
When I get overwhelmed, I get... sort of sad. I have been in some sort of insane whirlwind for a week or more, and honestly, I'm at a breaking point. People say the world goes crazy during the full moon, but mine always goes crazy when it's a new moon. It's a new moon.
OK so there's this kid -he's troubled. He's trouble. My husband and I have committed ourselves to trying to help him, and his mother. We never really "planned" to do it, it's just something that happened. It felt right, he needs us, he deserves a chance at something that, right now, he cannot even fathom for himself. Right now, he honestly envisions his future as an inmate. His father has been absent from his life, and has been in prison. THAT is his father-figure roll-model, and it has worked its way into his subconscious that THAT is all he can accomplish.
He got into my heart before I even saw him coming. My heart had decided that we were going to be there for him before my brain had a chance to object. My heart was committed (and Scott's too) before we had the chance to play out in our heads what all we might be up against, or what this effort might entail. It did not occur to me how much his past actions were going to hinder the effort. We never realized how much bad blood there was, following him around, that he/we would have to overcome.
It's been a long time since I saw someone I care about cuffed and shoved into a cop car. It's been a LONG time since I accepted a collect call from an inmate. And no matter how far back I try to remember, I have never been involved in the things that have followed him to my house and into my life. I find myself looking around and thinking, "What in the world is going on!?"
So he's been in trouble. He has a mouth and a temper that, I think, comes from never really feeling safe or having the knowledge that there was someone to protect him. His father isn't around, his mother has health issues, and I think he's just always felt alone, and like he had to be billy-bad-ass and protect himself. But he's a little skinny guy. So he's tried to prove how big and mean he is, and we're dealing with the aftermath, while simultaneously trying to show him the "right" way to handle things. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't know we're trying to inspire him to change, so they're still treating him like the lippy punk he has always been, and, frankly, even though I can see that he wants (and is trying) to change, old habits die hard, and sometimes he IS the lippy punk they've known over the years.
Yesterday 3 adult men chased him down the road and threatened him. He "flashed a gun" (NOT a gun, it was a lighter!) to get them to back off, and peddled his bike as fast as he could to my house to get to a safe place. Unfortunately, they called the cops saying he had a gun. They arrested him in front of my house and he went to jail. (His mother was able to sign him out, and the lawyer feels fairly certain that since it wasn't actually a gun, and he was being threatened and chased by 3 grown men (who have extensive rap sheets for fighting, and public intoxication) that the charges will be dropped.)
Later that evening, before he got out of jail, the same men chased my son and threatened him. He was going to the store to run an errand for me. He wasn't near their home, he wasn't running his mouth, he didn't even know the men would be at the house where they were, as it is not any of them's home, nor is it a place they're known to spend time. He also was NOT part of what happened earlier in the day, because he had been at home all morning before all that went down.
Anyway, they chased him, trying to knock him off his bucycle, screaming threats about breaking his neck, etc... yes, 2 grown men, both near about the same age as I am. Kory called the police, filled out papers, and the men in question are going to jail as we speak. However, that's the 3rd time in a week that grown adult men have felt justified in chasing down and threatening and/or attacking young kids. It is only the first time that the grown men have faced any consequences for doing it.
Unfortunately, I know that all that has happened this week has been in reaction to this kid's past behavior. And it never ocurred to me that I'd be facing all of this crap and drama. I went with my heart, like I said, and it just never ocurred to me that all this would happen. I suppose I've lived a sheltered life, because in my world, grown men just don't attack little boys.
I'll be glad when they're in jail for communicating threats to a minor. And we'll continue to handle things the "right" way, until something gives. I just hope that it isn't my sanity that gives way. This just isn't the way I have ever lived my life.
OK so there's this kid -he's troubled. He's trouble. My husband and I have committed ourselves to trying to help him, and his mother. We never really "planned" to do it, it's just something that happened. It felt right, he needs us, he deserves a chance at something that, right now, he cannot even fathom for himself. Right now, he honestly envisions his future as an inmate. His father has been absent from his life, and has been in prison. THAT is his father-figure roll-model, and it has worked its way into his subconscious that THAT is all he can accomplish.
He got into my heart before I even saw him coming. My heart had decided that we were going to be there for him before my brain had a chance to object. My heart was committed (and Scott's too) before we had the chance to play out in our heads what all we might be up against, or what this effort might entail. It did not occur to me how much his past actions were going to hinder the effort. We never realized how much bad blood there was, following him around, that he/we would have to overcome.
It's been a long time since I saw someone I care about cuffed and shoved into a cop car. It's been a LONG time since I accepted a collect call from an inmate. And no matter how far back I try to remember, I have never been involved in the things that have followed him to my house and into my life. I find myself looking around and thinking, "What in the world is going on!?"
So he's been in trouble. He has a mouth and a temper that, I think, comes from never really feeling safe or having the knowledge that there was someone to protect him. His father isn't around, his mother has health issues, and I think he's just always felt alone, and like he had to be billy-bad-ass and protect himself. But he's a little skinny guy. So he's tried to prove how big and mean he is, and we're dealing with the aftermath, while simultaneously trying to show him the "right" way to handle things. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't know we're trying to inspire him to change, so they're still treating him like the lippy punk he has always been, and, frankly, even though I can see that he wants (and is trying) to change, old habits die hard, and sometimes he IS the lippy punk they've known over the years.
Yesterday 3 adult men chased him down the road and threatened him. He "flashed a gun" (NOT a gun, it was a lighter!) to get them to back off, and peddled his bike as fast as he could to my house to get to a safe place. Unfortunately, they called the cops saying he had a gun. They arrested him in front of my house and he went to jail. (His mother was able to sign him out, and the lawyer feels fairly certain that since it wasn't actually a gun, and he was being threatened and chased by 3 grown men (who have extensive rap sheets for fighting, and public intoxication) that the charges will be dropped.)
Later that evening, before he got out of jail, the same men chased my son and threatened him. He was going to the store to run an errand for me. He wasn't near their home, he wasn't running his mouth, he didn't even know the men would be at the house where they were, as it is not any of them's home, nor is it a place they're known to spend time. He also was NOT part of what happened earlier in the day, because he had been at home all morning before all that went down.
Anyway, they chased him, trying to knock him off his bucycle, screaming threats about breaking his neck, etc... yes, 2 grown men, both near about the same age as I am. Kory called the police, filled out papers, and the men in question are going to jail as we speak. However, that's the 3rd time in a week that grown adult men have felt justified in chasing down and threatening and/or attacking young kids. It is only the first time that the grown men have faced any consequences for doing it.
Unfortunately, I know that all that has happened this week has been in reaction to this kid's past behavior. And it never ocurred to me that I'd be facing all of this crap and drama. I went with my heart, like I said, and it just never ocurred to me that all this would happen. I suppose I've lived a sheltered life, because in my world, grown men just don't attack little boys.
I'll be glad when they're in jail for communicating threats to a minor. And we'll continue to handle things the "right" way, until something gives. I just hope that it isn't my sanity that gives way. This just isn't the way I have ever lived my life.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Charity Water
Charity Water
The September Campaign Trailer - www.borninseptember.org from charity: water on Vimeo.
Charity Water has been named the "official" cause of the month at 29 Gifts for the month of September. Watch Scott Harrison tell his story here... it's amazing. Our goal as a group is to raise $4,000 to build one well in Ethiopia. This will fund a well for an entire village and give 400 people in Ethiopia clean water for 20 years. Our group donation will be made in the name of Larry Walker, father of Cami, 29Gifts Founder. Larry was born 9/16/47.
Please, donate here
----------------------------
Alright, I have to admit it. I'm usually not one that gets emphatic about foreign issues. I feel like America has enough needy people, hungry kids and health crises of our own that we need to raise funds for. As a matter of fact, sometimes, it actually ticks me off when we send money to other countries when there are hungry and/or dying children right here in our own country.
But this video... I mean leeches in the drinking water, and mud slopping out of the faucet at the hospital. It gave me a lump in my throat. And I don't get that way very easily.
So anyway, My birthday is in July, and we're still wondering how we're paying the bare neccessities this month, so I can't donate anything myself just yet. But I hope some of you will.
The September Campaign Trailer - www.borninseptember.org from charity: water on Vimeo.
Charity Water has been named the "official" cause of the month at 29 Gifts for the month of September. Watch Scott Harrison tell his story here... it's amazing. Our goal as a group is to raise $4,000 to build one well in Ethiopia. This will fund a well for an entire village and give 400 people in Ethiopia clean water for 20 years. Our group donation will be made in the name of Larry Walker, father of Cami, 29Gifts Founder. Larry was born 9/16/47.
Please, donate here
----------------------------
Alright, I have to admit it. I'm usually not one that gets emphatic about foreign issues. I feel like America has enough needy people, hungry kids and health crises of our own that we need to raise funds for. As a matter of fact, sometimes, it actually ticks me off when we send money to other countries when there are hungry and/or dying children right here in our own country.
But this video... I mean leeches in the drinking water, and mud slopping out of the faucet at the hospital. It gave me a lump in my throat. And I don't get that way very easily.
So anyway, My birthday is in July, and we're still wondering how we're paying the bare neccessities this month, so I can't donate anything myself just yet. But I hope some of you will.
a year in review (seriosuly, it might take a year to read this)
I have been (ever so gently and lovingly) called on the carpet for being so absent. Truth is, it isn't the first time in the last year, but this particular email, though absolutely not one bit accusatory, really made me realize what an ass I've been. I have been so blessed with so much love and support from the blogger family I found, and I've done you all a disservice (like I said, I've been an ass) by just disappearing.
So, in an effort to explain (and absolutely not to EXCUSE) my absence, I'm going to try to give a year's worth of updates, and do my damnedest to stop being an ass, to surf blogs, and reconnect with everyone who was there for me so sincerely when I needed it most.
I'll start sometime before last year's Heart Walk...
Early last year I started a group/website intended to be a support network for moms who live in my county. It was a thing of great beauty, and I put my heart into it 100%. I was out of my element, because it forced me to trust people face-to-face. Not one of my strong points. We set up the site, we gathered the members, we held playdates and many events. We were in parades with banners and really went all out with making the site available and known to all the moms in our area. It turned out to be far more time consuming than I ever expected, and I was swamped with it.
I opened it with a partner, but she became a good friend, someone I "let in" farther than anyone had gotten in many years. Our husbands were buddies, our children were BFFs, we spent a lot of time together, personally and professionally. She even joined Team Nova and walked with us last September.
The Heart Walk was a fiasco. All the people we'd worked with quit (I wish I knew the whole story there!) and all new people took over. The new people completely screwed stuff up. The website wasn't reflecting online dnations, and the people never did fix that. They rerouted the walk route, and we were all carrying stroller WITH KIDS IN THEM down railroad tracks. The opening ceremony was completely unorganized, and before one person got through their speech, someone on the other end had shot the starter gun and sent the walkers off walking and none of the speeches or introductions got done. The organizers completely discounted all the smaller teams, like ours, and only seemed to concentrate on the corporate team with huge fundraising capabilities and fund-matching programs. It went from being a very successful and warm/personable situation to being a money-hungry endeavor without any hint of the HUMAN element involved. We were very discouraged. We are not the only ones it seems because the Charlotte fundraising efforts have dropped off considerably... the ticker has only just recently passed the halfway mark, and we've got less than a month to go.
In November, I received a confusing call from my half sister (My father's oldest daughter from his first marriage whom I hadn't seen/heard from since I was 8-ish.) After the "OH MY GOD! NO WAY!? HOLY SHIT! HOW ARE YOU!!!!???" bit in the very beginning, things went quickly downhill. Mostly because the answer ws something like, "Oh pretty shitty, in the last 2 years, my son died, my daughter in law died, my ex husband died, my step mother died, Santa Claus died, the easter bunny croaked, my father died, I lost my job and I'm about to be thrown out on the street, and I want to move to NC, can you help me?"
Hold up, huh? Your father died? As in MY father died!? When?
Oh, 2 years ago, but we couldn't find you to tell you (I had been living in the same house with the same telephone # as she had just dialed ---for 6 years!!! ...how could she not find me?)
OK, I was not receiving the information well. Nor did I receive the rest of the conversation well... she hadn't worked since her son died because she was just too depressed, and was trying to get disability for it. (So... um... I've lost 2 kids, gone back to work and done what I had to do, and now, because you "can't" work, I'm supposed to move you up here and support you financially for some unidentified time period while you wait for disability for losing your son... Yeah.)
Now y'all know I'm pretty big hearted, generally really helpful, and I can totally empathize with the loss of a child, but none of this is sounding "right" to me. As a matter of fact, there are red flags flying and bells ringing. But she asks to talk to mom, who goes all in for 'saving' my sister Maureen, despite all my protestations for her to just think on it, be careful etc... In December my mother left for New Jersey (my mother, who is afraid to drive in Charlotte, hops in the car and heads off for a 16 hour drive like it's nothing) and by January, Maureen is living with me, whether *I* liked it or not (oh, no, it didn't matter that it was my house...really)
There's SO much more to that story, but it's just too long to tell it all. But I do have to back up and say that in Novemberish we had ALL (Me Scott and my mother) decided we were going to move out of that house. It was time, the land lord was nutzoid, the heat/AC wasn't worth a shit, the house was falling apart, the school system sucked etc. Well, Mom moves Maureen in, we start looking for a new house in January. Mid January my mother says "Oh, y'all go ahead and find a place, Maureen and I are going to stay here."
Wha!? Maureen isn't working, Mom's retirement is barely enough to pay the rent on that house, how the hell is that going to work?
Basically, in the end, I was pushed out in favor of Maureen, so now Ma and Maureen are super tight roomies and I rarely hear from her. No idea how that money thing is working out.
So come February we find a new house. The logistics get interesting here though. The house is 3 bedroom (the other was 5) I'm out whatever small amount of money Ma was contributing to the house hold (roughly $300 a month) and the rent in the new place is $300 more than at the other place. Plus there are more utility bills here too! Basically, there's about a $700 deficit between our new budget and our new expenses. (Thanks Ma) I had been working full time but oddly, as soon as I moved into this house (a block from my job) the boss lady cut my hours and started acting really weird.
In late March/early April, I lost my job. (Eventually I found out that it was becase there was some major miscommunication there...)
Scott was making decent money, but not really enough, so I had to find another job, within walking distance of the house because I have no transportation. I don't live in the city. That narrowed my employment opportunities considerably. But I did find another job at a tiny little Mom and Pop restaurant in the same shopping center as the coffee shop I'd just been fired from. Awesome!
Not so much, business was slow, pay was real low, tips were non existant, and in July they closed down too.
In the mean time, my good friend/partner at the mommies site tried to steal the site out from under me because we'd had a personal disagreement. She couldn't steal it from me so she tried to sue me for it, only she was in the wrong and no lawyer would represent her. So, instead, she pitched a huge public fit and left the site completely. Unfortunately, she twisted facts so completely and made me out to be a hateful bitch who was stealing HER site from her, and pretty much destroyed the site on her way out. We're still trying to recover ("we" as in the site/group) but she's done a good job of convincing people of a lot of untruths, and we're just about to close the site down.
I'm upset about the site/group yes, but I'm more upset that she turned on me the way she did, and that so many people that I called friends and cared deeply about believed her and never gave me the opportunity to refute her lies. I feel betrayed and hurt and angry.
Anyway
July was a fairly decent month full of birthdays and parties and what not. Terra turned 5, Bren turned 11, Tommy turned 19, I turned 36. August came, Kassi turned 14, and we prepared for school. Terra would be in kindergarten (I'm homeschooling her though) Bren started middle school, Kassi started high school, I started hyper ventilating - when did my kids grow up so much!?
Then, Scott got laid off, on the kids' first day of school. August 25th. Rent's due on the first, I've been out of work for over a month, and all of a sudden Scott has no job. Joy!
*Starts squeezin' out $900 worth of gold turds*
We just got through with Alexis' birth and death dates - they went largely unmentioned, I think because we just couldn't deal with it.
I have not been working hard on raising funds for the Heart Walk because I was hugely disappointed in the AHA, but on top of that, my family and most of my friends have ignored my involvement or requests for donations. The schools that were so involved the year before have chosen not to support it this year either, and even the kids were discouraged. The general feeling seems to be that we should be over it by now and move on. And maybe it is time to move on, I don't know.
In June or July I found a site called the 29 day giving challenge. It's been the high light of my year, and because of some folks that are members there, I have received a small rush of donations to Team Nova in the last week or so. But more than that, the challenge has been really a life changing experience, especially after THIS year. I am very involved over there, and I've even been made the Online Manager. There's talk of getting on Oprah. If that happens, I'm going! How cool would that be!?
Now honestly, I don't want to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself. Yes, stuff (lots of it) has happened this year. I've learned a lot of lessons, some of them have been hard lessons. But despite the chain of events, 2008 has been overall, a good year. Scott and I are super close, even more so than before. I don't have as many fiends, but the ones I do have are GOOD friends who I trust. My kids are growing up, Scott and I can even go out every once in a while without the kids because they're old enough now that the older kids can watch the younger ones. We're in a neighborhood where the kids have friends available all the time. The new schools are better schools. I love the new house, my landlord and land lady are absolute DOLLS. I'm not living under my mother's thumb and though that was a painful ordeal, it was, in the end, a huge improvement for our lives.
But I've been so busy with the things in my off-line life that my online life has sort of suffered. And I feel badly for abandoning those that have been so amazing to me through the most painful periods of my life, but my real life needed me.
And now things are calming down and easing up and settling in, and I think I'm back. And I hope that you all forgive me for not being here for so long, because I haven't shown it, but I've missed y'all.
So, in an effort to explain (and absolutely not to EXCUSE) my absence, I'm going to try to give a year's worth of updates, and do my damnedest to stop being an ass, to surf blogs, and reconnect with everyone who was there for me so sincerely when I needed it most.
I'll start sometime before last year's Heart Walk...
Early last year I started a group/website intended to be a support network for moms who live in my county. It was a thing of great beauty, and I put my heart into it 100%. I was out of my element, because it forced me to trust people face-to-face. Not one of my strong points. We set up the site, we gathered the members, we held playdates and many events. We were in parades with banners and really went all out with making the site available and known to all the moms in our area. It turned out to be far more time consuming than I ever expected, and I was swamped with it.
I opened it with a partner, but she became a good friend, someone I "let in" farther than anyone had gotten in many years. Our husbands were buddies, our children were BFFs, we spent a lot of time together, personally and professionally. She even joined Team Nova and walked with us last September.
The Heart Walk was a fiasco. All the people we'd worked with quit (I wish I knew the whole story there!) and all new people took over. The new people completely screwed stuff up. The website wasn't reflecting online dnations, and the people never did fix that. They rerouted the walk route, and we were all carrying stroller WITH KIDS IN THEM down railroad tracks. The opening ceremony was completely unorganized, and before one person got through their speech, someone on the other end had shot the starter gun and sent the walkers off walking and none of the speeches or introductions got done. The organizers completely discounted all the smaller teams, like ours, and only seemed to concentrate on the corporate team with huge fundraising capabilities and fund-matching programs. It went from being a very successful and warm/personable situation to being a money-hungry endeavor without any hint of the HUMAN element involved. We were very discouraged. We are not the only ones it seems because the Charlotte fundraising efforts have dropped off considerably... the ticker has only just recently passed the halfway mark, and we've got less than a month to go.
In November, I received a confusing call from my half sister (My father's oldest daughter from his first marriage whom I hadn't seen/heard from since I was 8-ish.) After the "OH MY GOD! NO WAY!? HOLY SHIT! HOW ARE YOU!!!!???" bit in the very beginning, things went quickly downhill. Mostly because the answer ws something like, "Oh pretty shitty, in the last 2 years, my son died, my daughter in law died, my ex husband died, my step mother died, Santa Claus died, the easter bunny croaked, my father died, I lost my job and I'm about to be thrown out on the street, and I want to move to NC, can you help me?"
Hold up, huh? Your father died? As in MY father died!? When?
Oh, 2 years ago, but we couldn't find you to tell you (I had been living in the same house with the same telephone # as she had just dialed ---for 6 years!!! ...how could she not find me?)
OK, I was not receiving the information well. Nor did I receive the rest of the conversation well... she hadn't worked since her son died because she was just too depressed, and was trying to get disability for it. (So... um... I've lost 2 kids, gone back to work and done what I had to do, and now, because you "can't" work, I'm supposed to move you up here and support you financially for some unidentified time period while you wait for disability for losing your son... Yeah.)
Now y'all know I'm pretty big hearted, generally really helpful, and I can totally empathize with the loss of a child, but none of this is sounding "right" to me. As a matter of fact, there are red flags flying and bells ringing. But she asks to talk to mom, who goes all in for 'saving' my sister Maureen, despite all my protestations for her to just think on it, be careful etc... In December my mother left for New Jersey (my mother, who is afraid to drive in Charlotte, hops in the car and heads off for a 16 hour drive like it's nothing) and by January, Maureen is living with me, whether *I* liked it or not (oh, no, it didn't matter that it was my house...really)
There's SO much more to that story, but it's just too long to tell it all. But I do have to back up and say that in Novemberish we had ALL (Me Scott and my mother) decided we were going to move out of that house. It was time, the land lord was nutzoid, the heat/AC wasn't worth a shit, the house was falling apart, the school system sucked etc. Well, Mom moves Maureen in, we start looking for a new house in January. Mid January my mother says "Oh, y'all go ahead and find a place, Maureen and I are going to stay here."
Wha!? Maureen isn't working, Mom's retirement is barely enough to pay the rent on that house, how the hell is that going to work?
Basically, in the end, I was pushed out in favor of Maureen, so now Ma and Maureen are super tight roomies and I rarely hear from her. No idea how that money thing is working out.
So come February we find a new house. The logistics get interesting here though. The house is 3 bedroom (the other was 5) I'm out whatever small amount of money Ma was contributing to the house hold (roughly $300 a month) and the rent in the new place is $300 more than at the other place. Plus there are more utility bills here too! Basically, there's about a $700 deficit between our new budget and our new expenses. (Thanks Ma) I had been working full time but oddly, as soon as I moved into this house (a block from my job) the boss lady cut my hours and started acting really weird.
In late March/early April, I lost my job. (Eventually I found out that it was becase there was some major miscommunication there...)
Scott was making decent money, but not really enough, so I had to find another job, within walking distance of the house because I have no transportation. I don't live in the city. That narrowed my employment opportunities considerably. But I did find another job at a tiny little Mom and Pop restaurant in the same shopping center as the coffee shop I'd just been fired from. Awesome!
Not so much, business was slow, pay was real low, tips were non existant, and in July they closed down too.
In the mean time, my good friend/partner at the mommies site tried to steal the site out from under me because we'd had a personal disagreement. She couldn't steal it from me so she tried to sue me for it, only she was in the wrong and no lawyer would represent her. So, instead, she pitched a huge public fit and left the site completely. Unfortunately, she twisted facts so completely and made me out to be a hateful bitch who was stealing HER site from her, and pretty much destroyed the site on her way out. We're still trying to recover ("we" as in the site/group) but she's done a good job of convincing people of a lot of untruths, and we're just about to close the site down.
I'm upset about the site/group yes, but I'm more upset that she turned on me the way she did, and that so many people that I called friends and cared deeply about believed her and never gave me the opportunity to refute her lies. I feel betrayed and hurt and angry.
Anyway
July was a fairly decent month full of birthdays and parties and what not. Terra turned 5, Bren turned 11, Tommy turned 19, I turned 36. August came, Kassi turned 14, and we prepared for school. Terra would be in kindergarten (I'm homeschooling her though) Bren started middle school, Kassi started high school, I started hyper ventilating - when did my kids grow up so much!?
Then, Scott got laid off, on the kids' first day of school. August 25th. Rent's due on the first, I've been out of work for over a month, and all of a sudden Scott has no job. Joy!
*Starts squeezin' out $900 worth of gold turds*
We just got through with Alexis' birth and death dates - they went largely unmentioned, I think because we just couldn't deal with it.
I have not been working hard on raising funds for the Heart Walk because I was hugely disappointed in the AHA, but on top of that, my family and most of my friends have ignored my involvement or requests for donations. The schools that were so involved the year before have chosen not to support it this year either, and even the kids were discouraged. The general feeling seems to be that we should be over it by now and move on. And maybe it is time to move on, I don't know.
In June or July I found a site called the 29 day giving challenge. It's been the high light of my year, and because of some folks that are members there, I have received a small rush of donations to Team Nova in the last week or so. But more than that, the challenge has been really a life changing experience, especially after THIS year. I am very involved over there, and I've even been made the Online Manager. There's talk of getting on Oprah. If that happens, I'm going! How cool would that be!?
Now honestly, I don't want to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself. Yes, stuff (lots of it) has happened this year. I've learned a lot of lessons, some of them have been hard lessons. But despite the chain of events, 2008 has been overall, a good year. Scott and I are super close, even more so than before. I don't have as many fiends, but the ones I do have are GOOD friends who I trust. My kids are growing up, Scott and I can even go out every once in a while without the kids because they're old enough now that the older kids can watch the younger ones. We're in a neighborhood where the kids have friends available all the time. The new schools are better schools. I love the new house, my landlord and land lady are absolute DOLLS. I'm not living under my mother's thumb and though that was a painful ordeal, it was, in the end, a huge improvement for our lives.
But I've been so busy with the things in my off-line life that my online life has sort of suffered. And I feel badly for abandoning those that have been so amazing to me through the most painful periods of my life, but my real life needed me.
And now things are calming down and easing up and settling in, and I think I'm back. And I hope that you all forgive me for not being here for so long, because I haven't shown it, but I've missed y'all.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Great news! A book in the works!
OK, if you've been reading at all lately, first, I owe you an apology, because I haven't been saying much. Second, you'll know that I've become very involved in the 29 Day Giving Challenge. Cami, the founder of 29gifts.org sent a note today... There's a book in the works! Now I know a lot of my readers are writers, and you know how the publishing business works - you write, you bug 10 million publishers, and hope beyond hope someone listens... In this case, the publisher (a major (as yet unnamed) publisher) approached her!
I'm so psyched for her! The challenge is such a meaningful and PURE movement, and Cami is so inspirational, I'm just giddy for her!
Hi there 29-Day Giving Challenge fans
Today at 4:37pm
I'm so excited. Yesterday I had a great conversation with a major publisher in NYC who is interested in the 29Gifts book series that I'm currently writing a proposal for. She contacted me because she read about the Challenge in a blog.
If you have a blog and are willing to write about the Challenge, we really appreciate it. Bloggers have been our #1 source of growth so far. If you write about us, make sure you link to the main site.
http://www.29Gifts.org
We just added a great list of favorite stories on the community page. Check it out at:
http://givingchallenge.ning.com
If there's a story you'd like to see on the list, email the link to
story@29Gifts.org
Thanks!
Cami
creator, www.29Gifts.org
P.S. If you haven't "officially" joined the challenge by signing up on the site at 29Gifts.org please do. We really want to reach our goal of 2,000 givers by 9/29/08 but the only way we have out "counting" people is to have you signed up.
I'm so psyched for her! The challenge is such a meaningful and PURE movement, and Cami is so inspirational, I'm just giddy for her!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
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