Wednesday, June 4, 2008

6/04: Day 10 (a gift to myself, and those in my past, if they choose to accept it)

6/04: Day 10 (a gift to myself, and those in my past, if they choose to accept it)

All things are (like poetry) subjective, open to personal interpretation. And all things have value, even if only to us.

My job, to most, is a crappy job. Admittedly, even to me at first, it was a crappy pointless job. But I've come to enjoy it, a lot. I adore my bosses. And I am, honestly, honored to know that they have such implicit trust in me to take care of something that is so deeply important to them.

No, I'm not going to get rich by any means. Not financially anyway. But my life has been enriched by having these people in my life, by having these experiences with them. That sounds silly to a lot of people reading this, I know it does. But to me, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and each of us can choose how much, or how little, to take away from the opportunities in our lives. The choice is ours. I choose to appreciate everything.

Even, in retrospect, most of the negative situations I've experienced.

And I'm sure that eventually, I will even come to be thankful for the negatives that I currently still harbor resentments and bad feelings about. Maybe, if I try hard enough, I will even find some sort of silver lining surrounding the deaths of my children. It is just a point of getting myself into the right place mentally to examine things objectively enough to find the lessons I'm supposed to learn.

But the other side of this philosophy is realizing that sometimes, those interactions were not for me... that those lessons may not be mine to learn, but that I am simply, unwittingly, sometimes a part of someone else's opportunity, some one else's lesson.

So today I am making a heart felt attempt to find those lessons, to be grateful for the things I've been through, for the sake of who they have made me, and let go of them so that the other people involved can learn, if they so choose, from those experiences we have shared.

I feel that it is important, in order to allow that to happen, for me to put aside my resentments, and forgive those that I feel have wronged me. I am starting right now to think of them in terms of, not how they negatively impacted me, but how I may have, hopefully, positively impacted them.

6 comments:

  1. Has no one commented on your lovely challenge and said what a great idea this is to share with your children? Well, it is! Good on Ya!

    Pepek, (visiting with my kids in MN)

    xo

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  2. E. You always amaze me with your thoughts, your perspective, and your unwavering ability to find the good in everything. You are an incredible person, and this challenge, and your sharing it with us, just further solidifies that in my mind. Thank you for this gift given to me today-- a breath of fresh air, and a bit of an eye-opening realization that maybe I can let go of some things, too.

    Love you, as always.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I had not thought of heaven as being overated. Earth underated?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi,

    I just voted for your blog for Bloggers Choice awards.

    Could you return the favor at:
    http://www.
    bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/21620

    Thanks,

    SpEdLaw2

    ReplyDelete
  5. I freaking love you, E! :-) and I wanna be like you when I grow up, hon. Except for the boobs 'n stuff. *HUGS!* (. . .although, you know, I'd probably never leave the hous........n/m) 'Love the way you write, 'love the way you think and am so glad to have your friendship in my life - specially when I need it the most. You're around. It's ~NUTTY!~ But, thank you for everything, hon. You RAWK! :-) *HUGS!*

    ReplyDelete