It's been a long time since I've even been here. I realized the other day that it had been weeks since I even opened the page.
I'm just overwhelmed lately. We finished up the Heart Walk last September and I got lost. That's what kept me going after Nova died. Haviong something to focus on, a goal, ya know? Ever since then I've been trying to find a goal.
I forgot to blog. I forgot how to write poetry. Hell, I've even forgotten to miss poetry. I started a mommies group. Yeah. Me. Weird huh? You know what they say about loss. It reinvents you. This new Erin runs a mommies group with a load of forums, and weekly playdates
and events for moms
We coordinate community events and local fundraisers and all sorts of things. A few weeks ago we did a fund raiser for a mother whos son died of SIDS. Last mmonth we organized a drive for the local battered women's shelter.
We do each other's hair (well ok Steph, my partner, does hair see:)
Ourmommiesgroup.com has even adopted a street to clean once every quarter.
We totally support each other through everything: diets, cranky kids, kids with allergies, new teeth, feeding problems, special needs and sickness, giving each other a ride somewhere, helping deal with deaths in the family, recommending each others' businesses. And I LOVE this group of women, and their kids too. It's been really fulfilling to put this together from scratch and make it work and watch it grow and flourish. It's been amazing actually, and we have barely begun! We've only been up and running 3 months and already have 160+ members. I can only imagine where we'll be in another 6 months.
But somedays, a lot of days really, I still feel empty and underwhelmed with life in general. I have so little motivation to do the things I should be doing, like laundry. Or fundraising for Team Nova...
I love a lot of the things this new Erin does, and a lot of the things she is. But I still miss the old Erin.