Wish I knew why these last couple days have been so much harder. It's been like it just happened. No dull throb of grief this, more the searing stab that sends that forlorn wail of disbelief rising up into my throat. I find myself with my hands at my mouth, as if I fear that it will unwittingly slip loose before I've had a chance to stop it. I go hours without speaking for fear of what might come out if I open my mouth. I think it would lead to a depth of hysteria that I might not ever find my way back from.

I know it sounds melodramatic, maybe even a little crazy. That's ok, maybe I'm both, at least lately. I think, sometimes, I'm losing my mind just a little.

So.
The kids are pretty well stuck at $10 each. Looks like none of their teachers will be supporting their efforts. I've still not heard a peep from any of the radio stations, guess that's a no-go (x3). No word from the Moose Lodge or any of those organizations I've contacted either, but they tend to only have once-a-month meetings about these things, so I won't get too impatient just yet. No response from Dr. Erckman's office yet, which surprises me, honestly. It hasn't quite been a week since I contacted Dr. Watts at the Sanger Clinic, but today is his office day, so maybe I'll let myself hope..? That would be one hell of a cheerer-upper. C'monnnnnn Dr. Watts! I need a cheerer upper today.

Anyway, the total has been at $1545 for about 4 days now, with a team total of $1575. I'm pretty well on my way to my personal goal, a little over halfway to the team goal. I keep telling myself that there's still just short of 3 months to go, plenty of time, right?

Anyway.

We knew in the middle of the last school year that they'd redrawn the district lines which would mean that Brendon would be going to a different school next year. Yesterday we got mail stating the new districting means that Kory and Kassi would be going to a new school for the 2007-2008 school year. The letter gave us the opportunity to go ahead and change this year. Kory is transitioning from middle school to high school this year already, I don't see the point in having him go to 9th in new school, and 10th in another, so I suppose we'll be signing them up in the new school next week. It's a better school anyway, the one I went to actually, Sun Valley, so it's good news, if the influx of inner-city students doesn't dilute the quality. Anyway, the problem is that, because the early transfer is optional, there will be no transportation provided. We'll have to drive them in and pick them up. I'm hoping that the improvement in schools will be worth the expense and trouble. Anything is better than where they are. I think I'm afraid that what Sun Valley has become in the last... um, since I went there, will leave me disappointed. God knows I'm sincerely disappointed by all the other schools my kids have attended so far.