Un-bulleted list

I just love this layout. Except it does a weird 3d thing that makes me a twinge cross-eyed.

My mother believes that Obama is a Muslim, AND the antichrist. And that Palin is good people.

I've decided to stay completely out of any more political debates because it makes me want to shake people.
Hard.
For a long time.

I've never hunted, and yet, I have a freezer full of venison. Thanks Sheryl! *waves*

I'm looking forward to grocery shopping, because I'm buying another turkey and the rest of the fixings for 2 Thanksgiving dinners.

It is cold out tonight, so we have the fireplace lit. It's beautiful, cozy, relaxing, and smells gooood.

I miss writing poetry. Once upon a time, I thought in stanzas...

I also miss sleep.

I have one week to pull together a Halloween party for kids whose ages vary from toddler to young adult. WTF was I thinking?

So. How's the weather?

It's been ridiculously hot and humid here the last few weeks. Tonight we had a dry thunderstorm... pretty, but useless. We have what they call a "drought" here in NC every summer (of course, every time it flurries, they call it a blizzard too) so it would have been nice to get the rain, but then again, the rain seems to just add to tomorrow's humidity... My yard is green and my garden is blooming, and I haven't watered in weeks, since they instated the water conservation mandates (even though they don't technically apply to me, it just feels irresponsible to water right now...) so it must not be much of a drought.

My garden. LOL. It's a wreck. The heat and humidity make weeding even more miserable than it normally is, so the crab grass is taking over. I added a water feature several months ago... the wild life loves it. We have butterflies and dragonflies and hummingbirds. Actually, we have all sorts of birds that always seem to travel in pairs. And rabbits by the dozen too, not so thrilled with them, they really like my hostas.

We also have, because of the water feature, mosquitoes. Not so happy abut that either, and I've been contemplating ways to combat them. We considered some disks that ya throw in the water that kill the larvae, but I try to stay away from chemicals ...not that I'm claiming to be "green" at all... I do like my seven dust and the ocassional spritz of RoundUp... but I was afraid these disks would kill my water lilies. So I thought about some fish, but once the temperatures started hitting the 90's, the water got to be like a bath, with no shade, in full sun all day, and limited oxygenation. I don't want to kill fish, so we opted not to buy any and even try it.

So, I thought and I thought, and decided frogs would be good. I went on OMG and asked anyone if there was a creek or pond near their house where I could snatch some tadpoles and start a froggie community. The answer was a resounding no. No tadpoles anywhere. So I figured I was stuck with my mosquitoes. Until tonight. Tonight I heard music. The songs of frogs, right there in my garden, from the water. It didn't turn me on much, but I'm hoping I just don't understand the language of froggie love, cuz I want to see some serious tadpoles swimming in that little pond, and soon! And until I do, those frogs better be feasting on my mosquitoes dang it!

It's been a long time

It's been a long time since I've even been here. I realized the other day that it had been weeks since I even opened the page.

I'm just overwhelmed lately. We finished up the Heart Walk last September and I got lost. That's what kept me going after Nova died. Haviong something to focus on, a goal, ya know? Ever since then I've been trying to find a goal.

I forgot to blog. I forgot how to write poetry. Hell, I've even forgotten to miss poetry. I started a mommies group. Yeah. Me. Weird huh? You know what they say about loss. It reinvents you. This new Erin runs a mommies group with a load of forums, and weekly playdates

and events for moms

and kids

and families.
We coordinate community events and local fundraisers and all sorts of things. A few weeks ago we did a fund raiser for a mother whos son died of SIDS. Last mmonth we organized a drive for the local battered women's shelter.



We do each other's hair (well ok Steph, my partner, does hair see:)

Ourmommiesgroup.com has even adopted a street to clean once every quarter.

We totally support each other through everything: diets, cranky kids, kids with allergies, new teeth, feeding problems, special needs and sickness, giving each other a ride somewhere, helping deal with deaths in the family, recommending each others' businesses. And I LOVE this group of women, and their kids too. It's been really fulfilling to put this together from scratch and make it work and watch it grow and flourish. It's been amazing actually, and we have barely begun! We've only been up and running 3 months and already have 160+ members. I can only imagine where we'll be in another 6 months.

But somedays, a lot of days really, I still feel empty and underwhelmed with life in general. I have so little motivation to do the things I should be doing, like laundry. Or fundraising for Team Nova...

I love a lot of the things this new Erin does, and a lot of the things she is. But I still miss the old Erin.

One Year

I miss you so much...


I can't believe it's already been a year. I still hurt like it was yesterday. Hell, that's not exactly true, back then I had the benefit of being numb and in shock.